


To Fight is To Dance

by asliceofpie



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: American Niall, Anger, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Art, Ballerina Liam, Betrayal, Boxer Liam, Drama, Eating Disorders, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Football, Frat Boy Harry, Frat Boy Zayn, Friendship, Heartbreak, High School, Homophobia, Identity Issues, Internalized Homophobia, Liam-centric, M/M, OT5 Friendship, Rich Liam, Self-Acceptance, Stereotypes, University, dance, flamboyant louis, only child liam, self discovery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-13
Updated: 2016-06-01
Packaged: 2018-06-02 01:11:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 29,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6544348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asliceofpie/pseuds/asliceofpie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Boxer Liam Payne, resigns after a short 5 year of boxing(started at the young age of 11). They all thought he was the best in the game and he was just starting off. His resignment came as a shock to everyone, including his parents. Flash forward, 2 years later, ex boxer, Liam Payne has found a new sport...only, it is one his father definitely doesn't approve of. But, Liam, some how loves it more than he loved boxing...and he really loved boxing. So what happens when 17 year old, formerly known as Boxer Liam transforms into Ballerina Liam? Will his friends and family accept his new sport or will his worst nightmare come true? (side note: He was born in England and lived there the first 7 years of his life..he then moved to California where he spent most of his years in and out of school, due to bullying(he was extremely shy)...When they moved for a final time, to New York , he joined a boxing club and finally started making friends and fitting in... so his language will be a mix of British English and American English words)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoy. I saw a little prompt request on tumblr awhile back and have not be able to stop thinking about it so i decided to write it with my own twist of course. The story will be a bit slow in the first few chapters..bear with me, please. Enjoy!

5 Weeks earlier

I woke up in a fright; Having just heard a loud thud outside my room. I rub my sleepy brown eyes as I get out of bed, feeling my heart slowly going back to a normal pace. I open my bedroom door and peek outside my room. 

“Ma?” I call out. When I get no answer, I decide to walk out all the way, despite being in just my (tight) pants. I walk down the long hallway and nearly scream when I see my mother passed out on the floor. I rush over quickly and kneel besides her. “Mommy?? You okay??” I pat her cheek lightly and frown as I stare at her pale body. As i expected, she doesn't respond; I jump up, running down the stairs. I pick up the cordless phone and dial 911. I run back up the stairs as I wait for an answer.

“911, what's your emergency?” an older woman speaks. 

“My mother is unresponsive...i think she passed out...she wont wake up.” 

“Is she breathing? Please, check her pulse. Help is on its way.” I do as she says, checking to hear anything. Its silent for awhile, as I feel her wrist and listen to her breath.

“She's breathing but it's shallow.” I say after a few moments.

“Okay, don't worry, sir. Paramedics should be there shortly.” 

It didn't take them long, before they were knocking at my door. I ran to open the door and quickly ran up the stairs. I had put a pillow under my Mom's head as I wanted her be supported and comfy. The paramedics instantly start working. They even manage to get my mother to wake and respond to them. I watch nearby, not wanting to be in their way. They put her on a gurney and wheel her out the house. They barely said anything to me. I frown and follow the paramedics out the house. “So, what's wrong? Is she going to be okay?” One of the guys looked at me and gave me a warm smile. “She's going to be fine. Seem to have a bit of low blood sugar. We are just gonna give her some fluids and bring her levels up. You should probably get some clothes on if you're coming with.” He laughs gently.

I blush faintly, forgetting I was in my under clothes. “Right..!” I run back in and quickly slide on some shorts and hoodie. I grab my phone and wallet and walk out. I get in the ambulance and they take off. I look over at my mother, who lay quietly on the gurney. 

“Are you okay, ma?” She smiles lightly. “I'll be just fine, love. Just a small fall. Did you call your father?” I frown, how could I be so dumb. I totally forgot to call him.

“Oh no! I forgot, I'll call him, just now, yeah?” She smiles softly. “Oh no, no. Don't call him. I don't want him to worry about nothing. You've got school today. You really should go back home and get ready once they check me out, okay?” I nod once, knowing better than to put up an argument with her. My mother was a small lady, only 5'2...but when angry, she suddenly seem super mighty. Definitely wasn't the parent to talk back to. 

When we arrived at New York Community Hospital, they take my mother out and follow in suit. They get her a room while I fill out forms. I sigh. My mom never likes to show any form of pain or irritation, but I know when she's not well. She has been acting off all week. I first noticed on Friday, when she kept sitting down as she did the house chores. She brushed me off, saying she was fine. This action repeated all weekend, now here we are. It's Monday morning and she's in hospital. I should of listened to my own instincts and made her rest. How could I let this happen? I brush off my anger and go back to see my mother, lying on the hospital bed. She looked exhausted. Her brown hair was all in her face as she brushed it back with her frail hand. I smile gently and walk over, sitting at the edge of the bed.

“I don't want to leave you, ma. Not until they find out what's wrong. You've been feeling ill for awhile. You've lost loads of weight. I just want you to be healthy, yeah? I'll never forgive myself, if-.” I my mother cuts me off with a soft shush.

“I'll be fine, love. It'll be ages before they finish with the tests. Go home, shower and go to school. That's helping me.” I sigh, knowing my mother wouldn't back down once her mind was made up. I nod once and kiss her cheek.

“I love you, call me, once you've fount out something.” She laughs and shakes her head.

“Absolutely not! Especially not while you're having your lessons!” I grin and wave at her as I quietly exit the room. I try to push the feeling of disappoint away as I leave the hospital. She wanted this. You aren't upsetting her.

 

Present day

“Liam Payne! If you don't get up right now, you'll be late!” I heard my mother yell. I groan loudly and roll over from my stomach. I look over at my clock and rub my eyes tiredly, as my vision was a tad bit blurry. I jump up instantly when I see the time. I had to be in classes in less than five minutes and it takes me 15 to get to school. I hurriedly go into the washroom and use the toilet. When I finish up, I throw on the nearest clean clothes. Which just so happens to be the smallest pair of skinnies I own and a flannel. I groan internally as I rush out the room. You see, at school, I'm seen at this big jock who loves football and have all the girls falling on their knees. I don't ever wear...what I would at home at school. Which happens to be tight skinnies, baggy tank tops or straight up lounge wear. I dress....macho at school. I have an image to keep up. Everyone knows I use to box. Everyone knows that I am athletic. But very few people know me. And that is, I'm very much into fashion. I love to dance and have recently started taking dance classes at a studio a few times a week. And well, I'm definitely not into girls. But, I cant tell anyone that. No. I have to stay the jock, until high school is over at least.

I walk downstairs and kiss my mother good bye.”See you later, ma.” She sighs and waves me off. “Remember, you have a doctors appointment after school.” I groan.

“I don't think I need to go, ma. I'm fine. I seem healthy, don't I?” She rolls her eyes and hands me the insurance card. 

“Go on, you're already late. It's for 5:30.” I nod and wave as I walk out the door and shut it. I get into my black range rover and start the car up. I drive speedily to school, in silence. I bite my lip nervously as I drive. I'm not use to being late. I'm almost always early. Attendance is important to me, so I'm very nervous to be the late one.

Several lights later, I arrived at school. I park and get out the car. I slowly walk into the huge school building. The door slams behind me and echoes bounce off the walls of the empty hall. I wince at the loud noise and quickly walk to my locker, where I retrieve my books for first period. I then make my way to the principle's office to receive a tardy slip. I frown at his door for a good minute before I finally decide to knock. I knock hard twice and take a step back as I wait for an answer. 

“Come in.” I hear a deep voice call out. I open the door quickly and smile slightly.

“Hello sir, um...i..um.. I'm here for a tardy..” I frown, looking at the ground. He sighs loudly. 

“What happened this morning, Mr. Payne? You usually don't come late without some warning.” I shrug and look a him.

“I just over slept, sir.” He nods. And writes up a note. 

“Don't make this a habit. Have a good day.” I nod and take the slip. I quickly leave out and rush into home room. Noticing the time, it was only 2 minutes of homeroom left. Once I open the door, all eyes land on me. I blush with embarrassment and quickly hand Ms. Simmons the tardy note. I take my seat and look to my left, noticing the usual Matthews wasn't seated there. Instead, there was sat a boy who had brown hair and tattoos scattered on his arms. He seemed slightly petite. Well, for a junior that is. I look away once he notices me staring and blush again. Oh man, this is going to be along day. I sigh softly.

Less than 30 secs later, the bell was blaring and I was running from the classroom. “Hey!! Wait up!” I hear some one with a British accent yell from behind. I almost turned around but assumed it wasn't for me. “Come on, mate. I saw yah staring.” I blush and instantly know who the voice is. I slow down and turn around. “You must be Liam, yeah?” He smiles softly at me. I look him over silently. Taking in his attire. Which happened to be a bit similar to mines. A skull tank, blue hoodie and black skinnies. Of course his wasn't as tight as mines. I nod once. 

“Yeah, that's my name. How'ja know?” He laughs and walks besides me as I start down the hall again.

“Teacher called it only several times. She nearly had a panic when you didn't show.” I laugh and rub my neck. “Oh. I wouldn't of thought so. I slept in, so...I arrived late. Are you new?”

The brown haired boy nods, and looks up at me. He was a good 3 inches shorter than me. “Yeah, mate. I've just come here from Doncaster. My mum and dad just up and moved us here. Dunno why, really. So, we're slumming it here for a bit.” I grin.

“I'm glad you're from England. I am too. I think...we can hang, some time.” The brown head boy laugh softly.

“Is that, a date?” I blush brightly, my eyes widen

“Wah? Did that...sound like a date proposal? I mean, just as friends! I'm not..!” He laughs again, nodding once/

“Don't worry. I'm not gonna hate you if that's what you meant. I'd love to hang out. Just let me know, round lunch. Do you have a 12:30 Lunch period?” I nod once and give him a soft smile.

“I do. We better get to class. That was final bell.” I leave him, just like that and rush off to class. I don't know why I felt so flustered and embarrassed around that new kid. I didn't even get his name. I groan internally as I take my sit in Physics. Today is going to be looong.

Lunch came faster than I thought it would. I hadn't seen any of my actual football friends. I hadn't seen anyone I actually cared to talk to and now I I have to give an answer to the new kid. Oh right! I just remembered, I have the Doctors today. I grin as I walk to my locker. I place my books in there and close it. I slowly make my way to the cafeteria, only to be suddenly stop by someone jumping on my back. I groan.

“Who..” I hear a loud cackle, instantly helping me identify the villain. “Niall! Where you been, mate?” He jumps down and slings his arm around my shoulders as we continue to walk to the cafeteria. 

“I had to get my knee checked out this morning, 'member?” I nod. I had forgotten, but I remembered now.

“Of course! How did it go?” Niall shrugs.

“I have to do rehab so it can heal or whatever. I wont be able to play for the rest of the year.” He says sadly. I frown.

“Oh no! We need you! You're one of the best.” He rolls his eyes. 

“I know, you lot are rubbish.” I grin and push him. We finally enter the cafeteria and I instantly race him to the line, something we've always done. He pushes me down right before we get there, catching me off guard and making me tumble forward. Before I knew what was happening, I hit my head on the hard floor. I shut my eyes quickly as I feel a rush of pain surge to my forehead. I let out a soft groan and open my eyes again. My vision was all blurry as I sat up. “Liam? I'm so sorry! Are you okay?” I rubbed my eyes and touch my head, feeling the wetness on my forehead.

“I'm bleeding?” I move my hand to see blood covering my fingertips. Next thing I know, all I see is black. Where am I?

Niall's POV.

“I'm bleeding?” Liam asks as he stares at his fingers. Before I get to answer, he's falling back again. Shit! I shouldn't of pushed so hard. 

“Help!” I yell for one of the many teachers in their to help my friend out. Mr. Andrews rushed over and lifted him up. I laugh lightly. I thought we'd pick him up together, but alright.

“What happened, Niall?” I bite my lip nervously.

“We were goofing around and I pushed him and he tripped and fell. Next thing we know, his head is bleeding and he passed out.”

He nods once and walks ahead without another word. I rush after him. And see he's going to the nurse's office.

”Um, maybe he needs the hospital! I don't think Nurse Becky can handle such a severe case!” I yell at him. He glares at me and keeps walking.

“Watch your tone, Niall. I think he'll be just fine and his body is just in shock from the sudden fall. He plays football. Has had worst falls than this one.” I nod once, knowing to stay in my place. I open the nurses office and Mr. Andrews walks in. He lies Liam on the bed and Nurse Becky instantly comes over.

“Oh what's happened?” I relate the story once more and she gives me a small smile. “Oh he'll be fine.” She gets a damp cloth and an ice pack out. She walks over to him and wipes up the blood that was resting on his forehead.

“No need for stitches. Just a small tumble.” She sprinkles a bit of water on Liam's face. I suppose, cooling him down? I stare at her, a bit confused. She checks his blood pressure and put the ice pack on his head. She starts assisting him for any other injuries. When he looks okay, she looks over at me.

“Get him some lunch. He'll be hungry when he wakes up.” I nod and walk out. I shake my head as I return back to the cafeteria. My ears are filled with loud noise, chattering and laughter. How lunch is suppose to be. But of course I bang my best friend up before we even get our food. I get into the short line and wait. I have to give him some of my food. He'll know I'm sorry if I give him food. I love food. So sharing literally means I care. I grab a tray, putting extra Jello cups on it and leave the line, I nearly bump into this blue eyed boy. 

“Sorry! Didn't see you there.” He smiles gently at me. I nod and start walking off.

“Hey! Um, is Liam...okay? I watched him being carried out.” I look at him and frown. 

“You a friend of his?” He blushes faintly and shrugs. “Not Really. I just met him today. Um..” I laugh lightly. “I'm just going to the nurse's office. Why don't you come with?” He grins and nods. “I was going to actually ask where he was. He looked like he fell pretty hard.” He walks out with me and up the stairs. I nod once.

“I didn't mean to push him so hard. But, little Liam be fragile sometimes. “ I joke. He laughs softly. I smile gently and keep walking. Slightly observing him. He seems...soft. Softer than the guys here. It's a little weird to think him and Liam would be friends. I frown slightly at that thought. And open the nurse's door. I grin when I see my friend was wide awake and sitting upright. 

“You're alive!” I scream and rush over, sitting the tray on the bed and hugging him. “I'm so sorry! How are you feeling?” He laughs lightly. 

“I'm okay, Niall. I hope that food is for me, though.” He grins. I laugh and hit him softly. “Only cause I'm nice and I know falling must of made you oh, so tired!” We both laugh when a soft giggle joins in. Liam jumps slightly and looks towards the door. He smiles shyly. “Hello..didn't notice you there.” He smiles.

“I never told you my name. I'm Louis. Louis Tomlinson.” He walks over and shakes Liam's hand. Liam nods, staring at him a bit too long in my opinion. Louis smiles.

“I'm guessing our plans are shot now; since you've decided to bash your head on the floor like a mad man.” Liam lets out a giggle that causes me to raise an eyebrow. Liam. Doesn't giggle. Only when he really likes some one. I frown slightly and continue to watch the pair.

“I wasn't going to be able to hang anyway. I've got a doctor's appointment after school.” Louis nods. “Of course, just say you weren't gonna hang. Promise I wont be hurt.” Liam laughs again and rubs the back of his neck. “Not true...i was thinking 'bout it.” He licks his lips and shifts slightly. “Maybe you want to come with? We can chat in the waiting room, I guess.” Louis grins.

“Okay, cool!” I cough and Liam looks up, blushing brightly. “ I need food now. Put your number in my phone and we'll chat, yeah?” Louis nods and takes the phone from him, after typing his number. He walks out without another word.

“Who is he? And since when are you friends with such flamboyant guys?” Liam frowns slightly and starts eating his potatoes. 

“He's a new kid. From England, like myself. I know you're born in America and your parents are Irish, thus making you Irish and you don't think much about it, because you go back to your homeland every year...but, it's nice to see someone from an area like mines. I haven't gone home, since I was 10. I miss it.” I frown. I didn't think he would miss being back home, because I thought America was his home now. But of course I should of thought of that, because I love Ireland and consider that my home as much as I do America and I love going back and seeing my relatives. He doesn't ever see his extended family much. 

“Sorry. I didn't think of that. I don't mind him much. Just, don't let the guys see you two hanging. They wont like him. Too..yah know.” I say as gently as I can, since apparently they are already forming a friendship and I'd hate to be the one to hurt Liam.

He shrugs. And keeps eating. I just care about him and he knows that. The team doesn't tolerate that type of personality. Wouldn't want them to treat him differently from hanging with this new kid.

 

Liam POV

I ate quietly for the rest of lunch period. I don't know why, but I suddenly felt defensive over Louis. Which is so weird for me, because I don't usually get attached to people quickly. I just feel a need to get to know him better and I don't want my friends to stop me from doing so. 

The rest of the day finished with new more drama, thankfully. When the final bell rang, I exited school without talking to the usual gang. I didn't want to bothered by them. I lost a lot of my energy and happiness after the chat with Niall. To be honest, I'm kicking myself for being so upset over nothing. I barely know Louis. I know absolutely nothing about him; well, apart from the fact that he is also from England. Its not even that big of the deal..not like I-

I'm cut off from my thoughts by some one grabbing my arm and pushing me against a nearby car. I gasp and close my eyes for a brief second before opening them quickly after. I can fight; come on, Liam! “Hey, what do you!-” I tilt my head, realizing it was Louis. Before I could stop myself, my cheeks started burning red. He grins and pecks my nose before letting me go.

“You were about to leave without me, weren't you?” He asks me, smiling brightly up at me. The sun shined perfectly on his blue eyes, making them appear as a light gray. I rub my neck, suddenly feeling vulnerable. I shake my head no and start walking off. Louis follows closely behind me. To be short, he has a lot of strength.

“Sorry, did I push my boundaries? I'm always a bit confused about those type of things.” He says softly, looking at me then at the ground. I didn't know what to say. His actions certainly had me flustered. I wasn't use to guys being so intimate with me. I didn't know whether to be upset or aroused.

“We'll talk later about that, yeah? My mind is elsewhere right now.” Louis smiles and nods once.

“Okay. So Why are you going to the clinic?” I unlock my car door and get in, throwing my bag into the back seat.

“Just a check up. My mum seems to think it's necessary.” Louis laughs.

“Oh, my mum is just like that. Making sure I have my yearly checkups. Although, I am 17. She just loves to mother. And I let her.” I smile and keep driving.

“You have any siblings?” Louis grins

“Absolutely! I have 4 sisters, a baby brother and a dog called Roofus. Roofus is of course my favorite. My sisters are all younger than me. The oldest of the girls being 15 and the youngest being 4. The baby, his name is Adam and he is 3 months. Quite adorable, if you ask me.” I smile as he talks. His voice sounds beautiful. I love how some words he pronounces, his accent becomes stronger. 

“I don't have any siblings. I'm the only child. But I do have a cat name gilbert. He is an old guy. I've had him since I was 7. He is gray and white. He's got blue eyes...similar to yours.” Louis giggles.

“Like mines? Oh! How cool! I can't wait to meet him one day.” I nod.

“Definitely.” I smile as I pull up to the clinic. I park the car and turn off the ignition. “You sure you wanna come? It's going to be rather boring..”

He rolls his eyes and gets out the car. “I've come all this way, haven't I?” He slams the door and I laugh. What have I got myself into. 

–

The doctor's appointment goes smoothly and I manage to get out by 6:30. I felt ravenous by the end of it and decided to stop to get some food.

“Where should we go to eat? If I don't get food in my belly, I just might faint.” Louis gasps.

“We can't have that now, can we? Hmmmm.. lets go to Church's!” I nod. That'll do. A little more greasy than I allow myself. But, ill make an exception for Louis. 

We drive in comfortable silence between the pair of us. Just listening to the soft hums from the radio. Even though today was really weird and messy, it has also been quite nice. Louis is great company. He is funny and is quite a character. Different than I'm use to. He some how makes me feel comfortable.

I pull up at the fast food joint and drive into the drive thru. Just then, my phone starts ringing. I put it on speaker as I gather my wallet from my bag in the back.

“Liam? Are you coming to dance practice today? We're gonna do ballet again!” I blush brightly when I hear the voice of Sara, my dance friend. I drop my bag on my lap and pick up the phone, turning it off of speaker.

“Hey, Sara. I won't be able to come to your practice today. I've had a doctor's appointment and now I gotta go home.” She sighs

“Are you with your soccer friends again? Liam, when are you going to just be yourself..you're such a good dancer and you've only just started lessons.” I frown and look out the window. I know she's right, but I can't lose my friends. 

“I'm not with them. I just can't. I'll talk to you later.” I hang up and drive up. I quickly order our food and pay at the next window. Louis stays quiet, as if he never heard my conversation. I don't know if I'd rather him talk about it or ignore it. Once we got our food, I hand it to Louis and drive to a nearby park. I turn off the car and look at him. 

“We can eat here if you want. Or I can take you home.” he smiles gently. 

“Can we go outside? Don't wanna stay in the car.” I nod and get out, grabbing my phone and keys. We walk to a bench that's surrounded by lots of huge trees. The sun was just starting to set and it was getting a bit chiller outside. I sigh softly as the fresh air hits my face. I instantly felt a bit better. My mum use to always say, 'Go get air, you'll feel better.' and she was right. I sat on the bench and open the box of chicken, breathing in the greasy goodness. Louis looks at me observingly. I know he's pondering on what to say about the ballet thing. Part of me wants to tell him. But the other part of me doesn't know if I can trust him just yet.

“I use to do tap dance when I was a little lad.” He says as he takes a bite of his biscuit. I look over at him, taking a small bite of chicken. 

“It was the best time of my life. I've made some great memories and friends. Did it for a few years. But then I stopped and started playing football. And I loved that. Did that for years as well. But now, I stray far away from athletics. I am in Drama club and Theater. I love that. A lot. So much that I want to pursue a career in it. I also love fashion. There's a play, I hear about. I want to ask to be apart of the costume set up.” I stare at him as he shares so much about himself, so willingly. He seemed to have no care and didn't mind just stated who he was and...that shocked me. I never seen someone share so much, so easily. I've never had super close friends, so this was new to me. I continue to eat quietly, staring at him observingly.

“Cool.” I manage to say after a long five minutes. He lets out a laugh and keeps eating. I smile over at him.

“How do you do it?” I ask suddenly. He raises an eyebrow and takes a sip of his iced tea.

“Do what?” I shrug.

“Be you whole heartedly...” He smiles sadly.

'After a lot of self hate and a lot of practice...I finally just became me...always.” I nod once, as I think over what he said. He doesn't seem like someone who would have a lot of self hate. He seems confident and happy to me. 

“I take dance lessons at a few dance studios. As of late, mostly ballet. I really love it. I feel..yea. I like it a lot. No one knows about it outside of dance class. I use to box and was a really good boxer. People thought I could be a pro. But I just...i didn't feel it anymore. And when I was introduced to dance last semester. I fell in love with the art. It's just something I can't share yet.” Louis smiles softly at me.

“You've shared it with me. I'm sure when the time is right for you, you'll be able to share that part of you.” I grin and nod. He made me feel so much better. Just like that. I don't know where he has been all these years...but I think I've found myself a new friend.


	2. Camp Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From Good to bad to good...again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning; There are lots of slurs in this chapter.

It's been several days since my initial meeting with Louis. We've been texting non stop and hanging out when we can. He is really funny and likes to goof around a lot. I've been enjoying his company, but of course that's when none of my friends are around. Currently, we are sat in the library, talking about the history project we have.

 

“What are you doing yours on? I'm thinking I'll do mines on the colonial expansion of Great Britain.” I tell him as I sit on the desk in front of him. He leans back in the chair and look at me like I grew another head.

 

“Oh, I haven't even thought about that. Liam, it's not due for another month! Why would I want to waste 4 perfectly good weeks on a four page essay. No thanks.” I laugh lightly and shake my head.

 

“It's always better to get it done in the beginning so you can always make changes or rest if you'd like.” He groans.

 

“Ugh, lets not talk about school. I'm quite allergic if you haven't noticed. I don't do early assignments or extra school talk. Lets talk about...football! Can I watch your practice today?” I smile softly, just the thought of him coming made me feel warm inside. I shrug.

 

“Sure, I guess. Not like I own the school or anything.” He rolls his eyes.

 

“You know what I meant, babe. Anyway, I promise I wont jump any of your mates. I'll just enjoy the view from afar.” I blush faintly and laugh lightly.

 

“Who said anything about jumping them? Sheesh, I would of never thought that.” I say sarcastically. He bursts out into giggles and pushes me lightly. I smile softly at him. One thing I really love about Louis is the fact that he doesn't ever shy away from his sexuality. He hasn't told me what it is, but he has no problems complimenting a hot guy or talking about them giving him a boner. Just him being comfortable with himself, makes me more comfortable.

 

“Maybe you can come over, since it is a weekend. Actually no, come over tomorrow, yeah? Bring an over night bag and I'll show you around the city.” Louis grins.

 

“I was wondering how long until I could sleep in your bed.” He giggles. I blush and scoff.

 

“Just for that, you'll be sleeping on the floor....in the basement.” He gasps.

 

“You wouldn't!”

 

“Oh, I would! But my ma would kill me if I ever dared.” I laugh. He grins and punches his arm straight up.

 

“Again...the tommo claims all victory!” I giggle and cover my mouth.

 

“Oh, Louis...you're so-” I'm cut off by a loud Irish-American accent.

 

“Liam! There you are! I've been looking everywhere for you. What are you doing in here?” I look over at him, my smile slowly fading. I get off the table and walk over.

 

“Oh, I was catching up on some work. What's up?” He stares at me warily, looking back at Louis and then me.

 

“We have practice in 5. But, you know that already, as it haven't changed all year.” I frown at his tone.

 

“Yeah, I'll be just there.” I walk back over to Louis and grab my bag. I smile sadly at him and walk out with Niall. I don't know why I feel so shy when it comes to speaking up to my football friends. I always feel more vulnerable when I'm on the spot like that. What am I expected to say? Let me hang out with the new kid cause he is more genuine than you lot? Yeah, that won't blow over well.

“Liam, you have to stop hanging with him. And I'm not saying this to be mean. But, you have to think about the team. What's good for the team right now? Do you really want to get into a quarrel with them right before a huge game?” I frown and look down as we walk outside to the field in the back of the school.

 

“He's not so bad. They don't even know him. You don't even know him. Why are you judging me..and him so hard?” I stop and look at him. I can see shock clearly written all over Niall's face.

 

“Why!? Liam, do you remember when you first came to this school and how you were all alone until I spotted you in the washroom? I help make a name for you all throughout school once I got to know you. Everyone started to love you, because you are cool. Now, here you are, cool Liam. Quite popular Liam, hanging with the new nerdy kid..who everyone knows is gay as they get. What do you think will happen to you Liam?” I frown and shrug.

 

“I don't get your point. Who he is, isn't who I am. That's obvious.” Niall scoffs.

 

“That's not how everyone will see it. They will think you're gay. They wont see you as cool Liam. They will...think less of you. You'll spend your senior year eating in the toilets again. Do you want to have lunch in the washroom?” I frown.

 

“Shut up, Niall. Alright? I wont hang out with him anymore. You don't have to whine like a little bitch.” Niall grins and slaps me on the back.

 

“There's my little Liam.” He runs off to the bench, saying hi to some of the guys. I groan and rub my hands all over my face. What am I going to do? I walk over and smile at the guys.

 

“Hey Liam!” Anthony says, grinning. “Did you hear about Marcus and Lydia? They hooked up last night at her boyfriend's house!” I cringe at the thought of that and shake my head.

 

“Wow! I guess he got in then, yeah?” They all laugh as I sit down.

 

“Yeah! I wonder how many more of us soccer guys will she get with before she decides she has had enough. She loves the soccer glock!” Harrison says. As if he would have a chance. He is nothing but a perv. Just then Coach comes to the field.

 

“Alright, get off your fat asses, let start with a jog around the filed, twice.” We all groan in unison but get up anyway and start jogging around the lot of greenery. I groan as I run a bit faster trying to get the nightmare of running over as fast as possible.

 

After jogging, we do a few drills and start a practice game. Me and Niall on opposite teams as per usual. Anthony and Harrison with me unfortunately. Kyle, Connor, Marcus, Darryell and Jeremiah on the opposing team. To be honest, there's only a few of the football guys that I like outside of school and that's Niall, Jeremiah, and Joshua. Everyone else are sexist, homophobic assholes who definitely don't deserve my friendship. Yet, I give it to them anyway. The game starts off as a lazy toss around. That Is until coach starts yelling at us.

 

“What are you, a bunch of pussies?! I need you to play like this is your last game in your life! You want people to remember who you are!! New York bears! So fucking play right!” He yells loudly. I quickly formulate a half assed plan as we take a water break so we could win this practice game. We all know the loser will have to run laps and put all the equipment up. I'd rather not. As I sip some water, I look around and notice a few people on the bleachers. Without even thinking twice, I look around to spot Louis and when I do, I cant help the wide grin that spreads on face. I finish my water and run over to the bleachers.

 

“So you came?” He grins.

 

“I am here, aren't I?” I laugh softly and nod.

 

“You see what I deal with? A bunch of lame team mates. Such suckers.” Louis grins and looks down.

 

“I think you're alright.” I gasp.

 

“Uh, no, I'm better than alright, babe.” I blush faintly when I realized I called him babe. He giggles, blushing brightly.

 

“Oh fuck! Go play you arsehole!” I laugh loudly and walk away. Did I just make Louis Tomlinson flustered? I walk back over to my team and see that the majority are staring at me. Suddenly feel exposed, like I just walked outside in my pants.

 

“What..?” Harrison frowns.

 

“Who is the fag on the bench?” My jaw clenches at that word. I have to hold myself back from getting angry.

 

“Fag..as in cigarette? Because I don't smoke.” Darryll laughs lightly.

 

“Stupid...” I smile lightly at him.

 

“I'm talking about the geek with the glasses.” Harrison says. Just then, Coach Jackson yells for us to get back on the field. I never felt more thankful than for that moment. We swiftly get back into the game.

 

The game some how got more intense, with us scoring right after one another. I was sweating buckets and completely out of breath. I was ready to just end the game when I noticed Louis still on the bleachers. I grin, somehow feeling more motivated to win and finish strong.

 

We go on for the next 15 minutes, head to head. The coach calls out that this is our last 5 minutes. Next goal will be a win. I focus on the ball and run towards it, stealing it from Jeremiah and running as far as I can before passing it to Joshua. Joshua runs the rest of the distance with the ball and shoots the last and final goal. I grin widely.

 

“Hell yeah!!” I high five him, causing him to laugh. The rest of my team, the winning team, cheers and we all run to the water canteen. We instantly hydrate ourselves as our opponents groan. They knew they couldn't complain considering it was a fair play and even score through out most of the game.

 

“Go collect them balls and give me three laps!” Coach yells at them. I laugh, only feeling a smudge bad. I pour myself a cup of water and a cup for Louis. I walk over to him and take a sit beside him.

 

“Water?” He smiles at me and takes the cup.

 

“Thank you. You played even better than you did before.” I laugh lightly and take a a few sips of water.

 

“We won, case you didn't notice. Me and Joshua did good on the last goal. Quite proud.” He laughs

 

“I know, I've seen it all. You are a cocky sports boy, aren't yah?” I laugh and pour the small bit of water I had left on him. He gasps and pushes me.

 

“You arse! You've messed me hair up!” I laugh and jump up.

 

“Not really, yeah? Looks all the same.” Louis giggles and tosses his water at me.

 

“It's all the same.” He mimics. I roll my eyes and jump down from the bleachers.

 

“Liam! What are you doing with Camp Queen?!” I hear Anthony nasty voice ring in my ears. I frown and look over at him.

 

“You've got a problem, mate!?” Louis yells back at him. I grimaced, trying to quickly think of how to diffuse the situation.

 

“Louis leave it..” I whisper. He rolls his eyes and marches over towards Anthony. I groan and follow over.

 

“Actually I do! Who the hell invited you to the field? It's clear as day, that you know shit about playing ball and probably get your nails done on the weekend!” Louis laughs.

 

“Look here, I've done football for most of me life! I'm quite sure of myself when I say, I would beat you easily in a game. So you can kindly go fuck yourself!” I standby, biting my lip nervously. He laughs and pushes his chest out, walking into Louis's face.

 

“Say another word, bitch and I'll make you regret it with all that's left in you.” Louis, small and mighty Louis, doesn't back down at all.

 

“You look like you're all talk. I've seen chihuahuas more buff than you.” That's all it took. Anthony pushes him and knees him in the stomach. I gasp. Before I could even blink, the pair of them were wrestling on the ground.

 

“Hey! Cut it out, you two!” I try to break them up, while everyone else stands around, laughing and rooting the pair on. I groan.

 

“Niall, come help!” Niall scoffs.

 

“No, I told you not to hang out with Camp Queen.” I frown, shocked that Niall would say such words. I shrug that off as I finally manage to pull Anthony off of Louis.

 

“It's not worth it.” I say to Louis. He looks at me, tears visible in his eyes. He shakes his head and runs off. The boys all start laughing loudly.

 

“ Aww, is Camp Queen crying!?” One of them yell. I frown and shake my head in disgust. I quickly grab my bag and walk off the field. I make a beeline for my car, not that anyone is around anymore, just...i don't know how to comfort him. I don't want to find him all upset and not being able to do anything bout it. I get in my car and put my bag in the passenger seat. I send a quick text to Louis, hoping he'd understand.

 

[ I'm sorry they're douchebags...You gna be alright?] I sigh and put my phone down. I start the car and and drive out of the school lot. What am I going to do?

 

Louis's POV (a NEW POV YAS)

 

I felt a knee in my back. A fist in my hair. I didn't back down though. I refused to let him win. I reach my hand forward and grip his neck and wrap my legs around his lower legs, successfully flipping him over. We toss and turn for a bit. I hear Liam and lots of laughter. He seems to be a bit upset, but I can't tell what's upsetting him. Me fighting his team mates or the slurs I hear his team mates throwing out like yesterday's lunch. Just as Anthony punches me in m nose, Liam finally manages to get him off me. I can feel my nose dripping with blood as my eyes fill with tears.

 

I don't know what I expected to get out of this? It's not like Liam would stand up for me. Nor did I really need him to. I just wanted to know he didn't think like them. He couldn't possible think like them. I finally manage to get off the ground, a little wobbly on my feet. My eyes burned with tears threatening to fall.

 

“It's not worth it.” Liam says softly. I look at him a frown placed on my lips. Not worth it? How could he tell me not to fight back when everyone is calling me all sorts of insults.

 

“Aww, is Camp Queen crying!?” I hear a boy yell. I shut my eyes for a brief second and run off, not even looking back to see if Liam would say something. Before I could stop myself, tears poured out my eyes like the Niagara falls. As if it was necessary to fall so hard. I don't know why I'm crying. Its not my first time to be teased based on my looks and personality. Its not the first time I feel alienated when I had a so called friend right there. Yet, for some reason, I was hurting so much inside.

 

So I did the only thing I could do. I ran all the way home. I ran and cried and ran and cried some more. Eventually- when I'm at my front door, the tears stop. I reach in my pocket and get the keys out. I unlock the door and walk inside calmly. I felt so exhausted for crying and running. I wanted to catch a nice kip and maybe wake up in a few days time.

 

“Lou? You alright, love?” I see my mum come over, holding little Adam in her arms. I nod once and give her a small smile.

 

“Yeah, mum. I'll be just fine.” I go upstairs quietly. Knowing she's watching and not believing me, but I cant talk about this right now. I go and plop myself on my bed, shutting my eyes, willing myself to relax and forget about that nightmare at school. After a few minutes I start to fall into a slumber; that's until I hear my phone go off. I groan and reach for my phone, I look at it and frown. I had gotten a few messages from Liam.

 

[ I'm sorry they're douchebags...You gna be alright?.] and [ I didn't know what to say, so I said nothing.] I sigh loudly and sit up, rubbing my eyes. I was still upset. I did feel like he could defended me more. But I know what its like to be uncertain and not confident in who you are just yet. I decide that this is something we should talk about in person.

 

[You still want me to come over tomorrow?] I text back, biting my lip. I was unsure. I didn't know if I should distance myself or give him a pass. He texts back almost instantly.

 

[ Absolutely! Bring an over night bag, pleasee(: ] I smile and place my phone on my nightstand. He made me feel better just like that. I get up and walk downstairs. I get myself some pop and go into the living room. I sit by my mum and baby Adam. I offer her a soft smile.

 

“Love you mum.” She grins.

 

“I'm glad you're feeling better, baby. You gonna tell me what happened?” I sigh and lay my head on her shoulder.

 

“Remember Liam? Well, I went to his practice today. And he played really good. Afterwards he came over and talked to me and..when were just having friendly banter, enjoying one's company when his dick head of a teammate decided he was gonna call out my queerness and started calling me 'Camp Queen'.” I laugh lightly.

“Obviously, I wasn't offended. What really pissed me off was the fact that He was telling Liam that he shouldn't hang out with me because I was 'camp'. And Liam didn't even know how to respond. He wanted me to leave it and go, but I, Louis Tomlinson does not let anyone call me a slur and just get away with it. So of course I told him to fight me. He did...and then mum...” I hide my face in her neck and let a few tears fall again. She rubs my back soothingly.

 

“Oh baby, I'm sorry...Do you want me to talk to the school?” I shake my head and cry quietly.

 

“They all started chanting slurs, mum.. Even Liam's mate, Niall...who I thought was at least tolerant. It was like year 9 all over again. Coming to a new school and thinking everything was going to get better. But it didn't. Mummy, I felt so vulnerable. I'm scared it's going to happen again. I'll never get to be me anywhere I go.”

 

“Oh shush, Lou. You're perfect just as you are. I'm sorry that those boys thought it was nice to poke fun at you, love. But whatever they say, you are amazing. You are strong. And you're gonna enjoy these years before university. I love you so much, hun.” I snuggle into her, not caring that I probably looked like a big baby. Or the fact that any of my sisters could come in right now and make me regret crying on my mum like a little boy. I just wanted to be held. That's why I let my mum mother. She does it so well and can make you feel safe with ease.

 

Liam's POV

 

After yesterday's long evening, I was glad it was Friday. I woke up early so I was able to take a long nice shower. I washed my hair with strawberry scented shampoo and sprayed myself with just a smudge of axe cologne. I dressed in a fitted black long sleeve jumper and black skinnies. I left my hair in it's natural state; a wavy curly pattern. I smile at my appearance, thinking I looked pretty good today. I walk downstairs and walk into the kitchen.

 

“Mum?” I call out. I hadn't heard her yet or seen her. Usually she wakes me up before I actually want to get up. I shrug and take out some eggs and crack two into a bowl. I pour a little salt, pepper, and chives into the uncook eggs and mix them up a few times. Once the pan is hot, I pour the eggs in. I get the loaf of bread and put two slices in the toaster. That's when I see it. I frown and pick up the note.

 

Morning, baby. I've gone to the hospital. Don't worry, I'm okay. Just more routine tests. They don't know what's wrong and probably will find nothing again so don't you even think about skipping school. Have a good day! And wake up your father!

 

Love, Mummy

 

I frown and sigh. My mum have been doing tests for the last month and they still haven't fount out what's wrong. Problem is the symptoms are getting worse. Nausea, dizzy spells, vomiting, weight loss.. I'm worried something more is wrong and we will find out too late. I scramble up my eggs as I try to think of a way to cheer her up later. She wont ever admit it, but all the tests tired her out and made her upset. I seen it in the way her energy always low for days after extensive testing. I finish my eggs and toast and set them on a plate. I then make my way back upstairs and knock on my father's door.

 

“Dad? I'm leaving now. Mum already gone. I'm sure you know that..” I say through the door. I don't get an answer so I knock a couple more times. Finally, he opens the door.

 

“Morning, son. I'll be right down. Do you need me?” I smile lightly and shake my head.

 

“No. I've made you breakfast. Toast and eggs. I'll put the kettle on.” He smiles and closes the door. I sigh and walk downstairs and grab my bag and keys. My dad and I don't talk as much as we use to. We've grown apart ever since I quit boxing. I don't know how to make him want to be close to me again. I still remember the days where he would take me out for breakfast after an early boxing practice. And the days where he would make a celebratory dinner for me, because I beat the guy who was two classes higher than me.

 

But now, we just drift. We make small chat about whats happening in our day and go on our way. The bond isn't there anymore.

 

I shake my head from my deep thoughts and walk outside. I climb into my car and drive to school. When I arrive to the dreaded building, no one is even there. It's far too early and we have at least 45 minutes before the first bell. I decide to wait in my car for a bit longer. I take out my journal and smile gently. I started writing after I quit boxing. It was the only way I could gather my thoughts without causing problems. I was confused and perplexed, because of course I wanted to make my parents proud and happy. But, I didn't want to box anymore. I have wrote in about 6 different journals. When I started dancing, I wrote every single day. Screaming my happiness on paper. It was something I never felt before. I don't regret going to the studio on the cold fall night. I take out a protein bar and tear the yellow and red package open. I open my journal and take a bite as I start to write a new entry.

 

March 23rd

I'm sat in the school lot, waiting for first bell. Mum is still sick and I don't know how to cure her. She's gone for more testing. Am I wrong for wanting them to find something? I just feel that means we will be closer to healing and treating her then more time of her getting more ill. I've got dance today and I cant wait. I feel like I haven't danced in so long, when I just danced Monday. I'm thinking about taking more classes. Maybe full time, instead of part time. I need more time in the studio. But I have football, so I can't commit to more time right now. Soon though. Louis is coming over today. And i'm just a smudge excited about that. I mean, he's spending the night. The only friend that every stayed the night was Niall and that wasn't even planned. I don't want to discredit Niall, because he's done so much for me. But I feel myself quickly getting closer and closer to Louis. He is just so easy to talk to. And he doesn't judge me or want me to fit in to keep an image. Makes me feel like I'm okay as is.

 

I jump at the sound of a knock at my car window. I look over and smile softly; seeing my new friend standing there. I roll down the window.

 

“Good morning. Wanna come in?” He smiles lightly and nods once. He goes to the passenger side and gets it. He shuts the door and looks over at me. Its only then I notice he has a few scratches on his face and a blue and purple bruise by his left eye. I frown, remembering yesterday events.

 

“How are you, Lou?” He shrugs.

 

“I'm alright. I'm sure he's doing worst than me, to be honest.” I laugh gently. I've notice he always brushes off things that actually matter.

 

“I'm sorry I didn't stand up for you more. You're my mate and I didn't say anything when they called you all of those names. I just..i felt guilty. I wanted you to leave and I regret saying you could come watch me.” He smiles sadly and looks ahead. A group of students walking pass; laughing and enjoying themselves as they did so.

 

“It's because you haven't accepted yourself just yet. You still want to make everyone like you. So you don't stand up for what's right to you.” I frown and look down at my journal. I close it slowly as I think of what he just said.

 

“I want to though. I do. I just don't know how to.” He smiles and looks at me.

 

“I know. And I'm gonna help you.” He reaches over and takes my hand in his, intertwining our fingers. I look at our hands, a blush rising on my cheeks. I look over at him. He's smiling so softly. My stomach flutters and I feel like I'm gonna be sick. I've never experience this feeling right here. I suddenly feel choked up. I gently pull my hand away and grab my bag, quickly exiting the car and running to the nearest bin. I hurl up the previous eaten protein bar and whatever liquid that was swooshing in my insides.

 

“Are you okay?” I jump, just noticing Louis's presence. I smile shakily and nod once.

 

“I'm gonna get some water. I think my breakfast just didn't agree with me.” He nods slowly, not looking convinced.

 

“We'll talk later, yeah?” I simply nod and walk off yet again. I quickly go the washrooms where I rinse my mouth out. I stare at my reflection in the big mirror. Frowning at what I saw, I run a hand through my curly hair. Why do I feel so shaken up? I feel confused and attacked by my sudden emotions. As I stare at my reflection, my eyes brim with tears. I could hear my best mate's words ringing through my ears.

 

“Do you want t' lose all your friends, Liam? Look how hard we worked to get you all these friends!” I frown and wipe my eyes. I wash my face and give myself one more stare. Dancing was one thing. But, there was no way I would allow myself to be a faggot. I shake my head and walk out of the washroom and go straight to home room. Louis may be charming, but there's no way I'll let myself like him more than a friend. That's all he is. That's all I wanted him to be. So that's all he will be.

 

–

 

The day passes fairly quick. I've been avoiding Louis all day long. I'm nervous just at the thought of him finding me. I'm now waiting at my locker for him to come with me. He's going to have to come with me to dance and I'm quite anxious about that. He knows I dance, but he's never seen me doing the thing I love the most.

 

“Hello, mate. Thought you were starting to ignore me or somethin'.” I hear Louis say, taking me out of my thoughts.

 

“Nah, I've just been focused. Um.. I hope..you don't mind coming to dance with me. I've got a short class today. An hour and a half. I could drop you off at home first and then pick you up if you'd like..” I look down.

 

“Are you going on a date, Liam?!” I jump at the Irish-American voice. my head snapping up. I stare at the dyed blond boy in front of me, in bewilderment.

 

“Why would you think I'm going on a date?! Whats up with that bloody question anyway!” Niall eyes widen. He looks at me and then Louis.

 

“You just said you'd come back to pick him up to dance with you...sounded like a date.” I roll my eyes and stare directly at Niall.

 

“Do I look like I want to date some faggot to you!?” I spit out. Niall laughs.

 

“Okaaay. Sorry, sorry. If this gots to do with yesterday...I'm sorry. I know you aren't into...things like that. I'll call you later, when you're less uptight.” I sigh and slam my locker shut. Flexing my hands in and out of a fist.

 

“So I'm guessing I'm just some faggot to you, huh?” I frown and look at Louis. Instantly regretting my choice of words. By the look of his face, he seem to want to have a cry or to take a swing at me. I don't blame him. I'm such a shit friend.

 

“No. Damn it. No, Louis. Not at all.” He shakes his head and looks down.

 

“I don't think I should come over tonight. I think my mum and dad deserve a night out. I should thank them for not raising me as a homophobic spiteful asshole.” I frown, feeling hurt by his comments.

 

“No, I'm not...I'm not homophobic. I shouldn't of said that. Your more than just a gay boy. Hell, I don't even know if you are gay. I was just being stupid. I'm sorry. I really am. Please, come over. Please.” I dont know why I'm begging. But the thought of Louis at home, angry with me instead of spending the weekend with me, exploring the city makes me sad. Louis sighs and folds his arms.

 

“You call me that again and your ass can find yourself a new friend, got it?” I smile lightly and put my hands up in surrender.

 

“Completely understand.” He grins and pushes me.

 

“Now, let me see if you play football better than you dance.” I laugh and nod, heading out of the school with him. Maybe this weekend will work.

 

It doesn't take long for us to arrive at the studio. I take my dance bag out of the trunk and make my way inside with Louis. It was nearly dark outside and we'd be back at mines way after supper. But he seem to not mind it. I go in and greet some of dance mates.

 

“Louis is just gonna join me for a bit today. He'll be watching, if that's okay.” I say to my dance teacher, Johnathan Skills. He grins at me.

 

“That's more than okay. Maybe he'll want to take some classes after seeing todays class.” I laugh and walk into the changing room. I change out of my day clothes and but on my dance clothes. Today I was wearing leggings and a skin tight shirt. I felt quite grateful that I wasn't in a leo while Louis was here. Even if he accepts me, I don't feel like being judged for that.

 

“Alright class, we're gonna start with some bar work first to warm up. In first position with plié.” He says. And so we begin, warming up with a few bar exercises.

 

As the class continues on and we break into groups of 6 doing different routines on repeat, I loosen up and feel myself relaxing. I don't think about the fact that Louis is watching in on me. I don't think about my troubles with my Mum or Niall. I just focus completely on the moves, making sure I'm fluent and standing tall throughout them all. I dance as I listen to the soft piano playing in the background and Mr. Skills deep voice dictating what's next in a fast fashion.

 

An hour and half later, I'm wiping sweat off my face and stretching as I sip some water. Sara walks over and smiles at me. She sits besides me and stretches.

 

“You're improving with every class. You should really think about doing more lessons. You can be amazing in no time. And Maybe you'll be able to do performances with us. We have one coming up this Summer.” She says. I smile shyly, closing my bottle as put my feet together and lean forward, my arms flat out in front of me as I stretch my thighs and back.

 

“I don't think I'd be ready for a performance so soon.” She sighs.

 

“Because of your parents? Or because you doubt your learning ability?” I shrug.

 

“Both, I suppose.” She nods slowly and looks over at Louis.

 

“I'm glad you have a friend who supports your talent.” sit up and look over at him. I smile softly and nod.

 

“Me too. He's great.” The older brunette giggles.

 

“Uh huh. Go on then.” I roll my eyes playfully and stand up, walking over to Louis.

 

“Did you enjoy the class or was it too boring?” Louis grins and stands up, hugging me gently.

“I loved it. It was beautiful. The piano playing was just beautiful. And I usually don't like this type of music. But you look great...from what I could tell. I know next to nothing about Ballet though.” I smile and pull away from his too warm of a hug.

 

“Thank you. I love it. It's relaxing, its hard work, and it's fun.” He smiles and nods.

 

“You don't have to tell me, babe. I can tell. You were so focused yet had a smile on your face the whole time.” I blush faintly, the thought of him watching me, making me nervous again.

 

“Ah, alright. Enough! Lets go get some food. I'm starving.” Louis laughs and follow me to the changing room. I don't think twice before taking my sweaty shirt off and placing a hoodie over my body. I then slide off my leggings, leaving me in my black pants. I look over at Louis, seeing he's gone red. I stare at him a bit confused for a minute, then I realize. I just stripped in front of him and he probably wasn't expecting that. I let out a loud laugh.

 

“I'm sorry, mate. I forgot. I change around so many people, I didn't think much.” I slide on my blue Nike shorts. He laughs lightly.

 

“I wasn't annoyed, that's for sure.” I grin, suddenly feeling confident.

 

“Of course not. I just gave you the best view of your life.” He rolls his eyes and smiles softly at me. I smile back and stuff my clothes in my dance bag and zip it close.

 

“Come on, Lou. Its time to eat some kale and chicken.” I throw my arm around his neck and walk out the studio with him. He makes a face at me and laugh.

 

“I'll have just chicken, thanks!” I giggle and unlock the car door, moving my arm from around his neck.

 

“It's good for you, Louis. We can't eat fast food every time we're out together. Trust me, I make really good food. You'll love it.” He smiles at me and buckles up.

 

“I trust you, Liam.” I blush faintly and nod. I drive out the parking lot as Louis puts on the radio.

 

We can be just friends. I know we can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed. Thanks for reading! Please feel free to leave comments and or feedback. :)


	3. New York is HUGE, yet small..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoy. I'm sorry my writing isn't that good in this. My mind is all over the place.

Less than 30 minutes later, I'm pulling into our parkway. There's no other cars there, well, except for the camry. But none of us really use that one. I park and turn off the car.

“Home sweet home.” I smile and get out, taking my bags out as well. Louis follows in suit and grabs his duffel bag and book bag.

“I feel like a traveler with this huge bag and back pack with a shit load of books in it.” I laugh lightly and walk up the porch. I unlock the door and instantly open the switch near the front door. There's nothing I hate more than a dark empty house. I walk all the way in and head for the stairs. I hear the door shut behind us and Louis following me. Reminder; double check to see if the door is locked.

I go up into my room, turning on the hallway light as I did so. Once we enter my room, I then turn on yet another light. I drop my bags near my closet door.

“Sorry, it's a bit messy. I haven't had a chance to clean much. The guest room is right across from here. There's a TV and gaming system in there so you shouldn't find a problem. There's also a washroom in there too. But you could use the hall too. I use that more than my own. “ Louis smiles and nods. 

“I guess, I'll put my bags in there?” I nod once.

“Yeah, go on. I'll be downstairs, starting dinner. I neeeed food.” I walk out and go back downstairs. I walk into our huge gray and white kitchen. I head to the fridge and take out some kale and defrosted chicken breast. I instantly start prepping the two, while I get a pot out for some brown rice. This was a typical meal for me after Ballet. I had to eat lean foods so I could stay lean and maybe lose a few lbs too. I throw the seasoned chicken in a pan with a dash of olive oil and cook it throughly. I take out a small bowl and put the kale in it. I had some lemon juice, olive oil, salt and pepper and massage the Kale throughly. I don't mind cooking. It's a bit therapeutic. I love making everything look nice and enjoy watching people's reactions when they try my foods. Once the chicken is done, I cook the Kale and finish up the brown rice. Less than 30 minutes, I have dinner all done and I'm plating up when Louis finally comes down.

“Hope you don't mind. I took a shower.” I look up at him and smile softly. He was in an over-sized white tee and blue and green plaid boxers. 

“Of course not. Should of joined you, if I'm honest.” Louis's eyes widen.

“What!?” I laugh loudly.

“Not like that! I meant, I need one too. Jeez. Dirty thoughts, always.” Louis laughs, blushing faintly. He sits at the bar. I smile and hand him a plate. I sprinkle a bit of lemon on his brown rice. 

“I hope its alright. If not, we got a bunch of frozen chips. I can plate you some if you can't handle the healthiness.” He smiles.

“You are eating..right?” I nod.

“Um, I do recall saying I needed food. Of course I'm eating it too!” I get another plate out and make myself the same as Louis. Albeit, a little less than him; since I've got weight to lose. I sit down besides him and he takes a bite. I watch him as he chews slowly.

“So, what's the verdict?” I ask, once he's finished. 

“Different. But, I kind of like it.” I grin and start eating. We eat in comfortable silence. Too hungry to actually care about having a conversation. When we're both nearly done with our food, I hear the front door open.

“Liam? I know you're home, babe. You're the only one who opens all the lights in the house once you get in.” I laugh lightly. And put my fork and knife down. 

“In the kitchen, Mum!” I call out. I wipe my mouth and look at a nervous Louis. 

“Don't worry, she wont be mad you're here.” He nods once.

“But, I'm in muh pants.” He mumbles out. I laugh and pinch his cheek.

“Aww. Mum!?” She then walks in.

“Why are you screaming, sweetheart? Oh! Hello..” Louis blushes faintly and waves slowly.

“Good evening, ma'am..” She smiles politely and go the fridge. She gets out the pitcher of water.

“Who's this, love?” I smile.

“My new friend, Louis. He's gonna stay the weekend, if that's alright.” She nods.

“Of course. It's nice to meet you, Louis. I'm glad you've got some other friends, Li.” I sigh and pick up our plates. I place them in the sink.

“I have lots of friends, mum.” She rolls her eyes.

“No, I've only seen, Niall. You never have sleep over with the other boys you mention. The sports boys.” I frown.

“Okay. Well we're going upstairs now. If you need me, just holler.” She laughs.

“I will not 'holler', Liam. But okay. Nice meeting you again, Louis.” Louis smiles.

“You too, Ma'am.” She laughs and shakes her head.

“You don't have to call me ma'am. Kate is just fine.” I tap Louis on his shoulder.

“Come on.” He nods and gets up, following me upstairs. We go into my room and I shut the door. I groan and plop on my bed.

“I might sound like the most horrible friend. And i know its not even 9 yet, but I'm so tired.” Louis laughs and lays by me.

“You're not horrible. You had a long day. If I did all that you did at dance, I'd been asleep without dinner.” I smile and look at him. 

“Okay! I'm going to shower and then we can watch a movie, yeah? Just pick from that pile under the tv.” Louis smiles and nods. He stretches and looks up at the ceiling.

“Okay, see you in a bit.” I nod, slightly checking him out. He hands were over his head, showing a bit of belly. His briefs rested against his thighs, not too tight but not too loose. He had full, thick thighs. He looked quite good, if you'd ask me. I get up and grab my towel, suddenly feeling self conscious. He had a great body. Looked strong, yet some how curvy. I walk into the bathroom and shut the door. I turn on the shower and quickly strip down. I look at my body in the mirror, looking for signs of improvement. I pinched at the fat around my belly. Definitely needed to lose some of my love handles, so my abs could come in and my waist good get trimmer. Had a bit of baby fat around my face and my thighs. I sigh and hope into the shower. I got to take this losing weight a bit more serious. Especially if I'm gonna perform this summer. I have to look lean and muscular. I stand under the water allowing the hot stream loosen up my back and shoulder muscles. The hot water felt great against my sore body. I close my eyes, letting days stress fall down the drain where it belong. I reach for the soap bad and start washing my body throughly. Once I finish washing, I rinse off and co wash my hair. I turn off the water and get out of the tub. I wrap my towel around my waist and take a smaller one to towel off my wet hair. I open the bedroom door and see Louis is still on the bed. He's on his phone, not noticing me, thankfully. 

I walk over to my dresser and get some black briefs out. I continue to dry my hair as I start to slip on my boxers. I drop my towel once they're on. That's when I hear Louis whistle. I blush faintly and turn to look at him. He smirks at me.

“You've been giving me lots of body all day!” I laugh lightly, thinking about earlier. I roll my eyes.

 

“Whatever. It's only cause you love what you see.” Louis grins.

“I got a movie picked out. My Sister's Keeper. “ I frown, thinking abut how sad that movie was.

“Oh, okay. Sure.” Louis smiles.

“Or...Legos?” I nod.

“I think that's probably a better choice for tonight. Maybe we can watch the other movie tomorrow.” Louis laughs and nods. He pats the bed next to himself.

“Come on then.” I nod and slide on a tank top. I climb in bed beside him after I put the movie in. I fast forward all the previews and click play. Louis scoots closer to me and lays his head on my chest. It would be a lie if I said my heart didn't drop to the body of my stomach. I don't understand how something so simple could make me feel so flustered. I groan internally and try to focus on the movie and ignore the fact that his body is pressed close to mines. We're touching at every part. His head on my chest. My arm around his waist. His legs resting against mines. My hip pressed against his lower abdomen. And this felt good. I felt comfortable. 

“I think we should do all the touristy things tomorrow. Since, you haven't been to the city part. I think it will be fun.” Louis looks up at me and smiles.

“I'd like that.” I nod and look back at the telly. After 45 minutes into the movie, I hear Louis snoring softly. I look down at the bloke and grin. He looked so adorable. I smile and close my eyes, deciding it was safe to sleep with him like this. 

Louis's POV

I wake up to the sun blaring straight on my face. I groan and turn over, hiding my face in the blankets. I feel a body move against me, a soft sigh coming out of their mouth, hitting my neck with it's breath. I jump and look to my right, sitting upright. I laugh lightly when I realize I'm in Liam's room. I don't remember falling asleep in here. I grin and lay back down. At least he didn't kick me out and let me sleep in bed with him.

I move some of his hair out of his face and smile down at him. I know I'm starting to develop a little crush on him. But I know better than to pursue it. I sigh softly and kiss his head. I lay back down by him, deciding to join the body warmth before having to get up again.

Around 10 minutes later, Liam finally makes up. He wakes up like a little cub. Lots of yawning, whining and stretching. It's cute. I let out a small giggle, covering my mouth.

“Whyja open the curtains so early..?” He whines. I laugh more.

“I did not. You've left 'em open.” He groans and rubs his eyes and looks at me.

“You slept well?” I smile and slowly nod.

“Yeah, don't remember falling asleep.” He smiles and rolls over to his back. He places an arm under his head.

“I do. You snore.” I narrow my eyes and him and lay back down by him.

“No, I don't.” He laughs and looks at me.

“Liar! I literally heard you and you fell asleep before the movie even ended.” I blush faintly.

“Nope! I don't snore.” He laughs and starts tickling me. I gasp at the unexpected movement. I laugh loudly.

“Stoop, liaaam! Iii” He laughs and continues to assault me with his hands. I groan and try to push his hands off as I continue to laugh.

“Liam! I need a piss! Stop!!” He grins and finally lets up.

“Alright, alright!” I laugh and push him off the bed. I get up and run to the bathroom before he could recover from the fall. I take a quick piss and wash my hands and face. I would of brushed my teeth but my bag is in the guest room. I run a wet hand through my hair and walk out the bathroom. Liam looks at me and glares.

“That was so not nice!” I laugh and walk to the door.

“Um, mate, you were tickling me until I nearly peed myself. That's not nice either.” Liam grins and waves me off. I walk out and across the hall without bumping into any of his family members. No offense, but I wasn't too ago about meeting Liam's dad. He seemed even scarier than his mum. She just seemed closed off and not into meeting too many new faces. Liam never talks about his dad, so I wouldn't even know what to expect. I walk into the guest room and quickly change out of my night clothes. I put on a pair of light wash tight denim shorts and a fitted deep red v neck. Gotta take my breasts out at least once a week. I walk into the toilet in the guest room and start combing my hair. I slide a bit of moisturizer in my hair and comb it to the side so a let bit fell into my face but the majority stayed back. My hair was getting long and I'd definitely need a hair cut soon. 

I smile at my reflection. I looked quite good; however, something was missing. I go back in the room and start dumping out my clothes and accessories onto the bed. I look through the stuff for a bit until I find a few rings and a black scarf. I dress up the outfit with the few items and put on my white converse. I grin. I think Liam would like this. I walk out the room and knock on Liam's door.

“Leeamm...” I whisper as I wait for an answer. I was just about to knock again when I heard a thick accent speak.

“Can I help y'uh?” I jump at the sudden voice and turn around. 

“Um, n-no, sir. I'm just waiting for Liam..” I say quietly. He looks me up and down and shakes his head.

“Where abouts you from?” I look at Liam's door and then him. Of course Liam would take forever to come to the door just now.

“Doncaster. I'm from Doncaster. “ I answer, nervously.

“So, is this normal attire, in Doncaster? I'm not familiar with the area.” I stare at him, confused.

“I don't understand. I'm sorry.” He laughs lightly.

“Maybe you should change your clothes. That look wont pass here, in New York.” Just then Liam opens the door.

“Oh, Louis, you look-!” I cut him off, not wanting him to flirt with me right in front of his father.

“I've just met your dad, Liam.” Liam smile fades and walks out the room. He smiles gently at his father.

“Morning, dad. How're you?” He nods at his son.

“I'm fine. I know you were about to make the same point I did to your mate. That his outfit is bit..gay club like more than hanging with friends around town.” Liam's jaw visibly lock and he nods once.

“I don't dictate what people wear though. Anyway, lets go eat. We're gonna be late.” He quickly changes the subject and walks back in his room, gesturing for me to come along. I respectfully leave the hall and shut his door.

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry about that.” I shrug and sit on his bed.

“That's nothing, compared to school. I would rather that, then the slurs.” He nods and sits by me.

“Well, I was really gonna say you look amazinnng.” I giggle and push him gently. 

“Whatever.” He grins and places his hand on my thigh.

“Really. I like it. You look good. Everything fits really well.” I blush and look down at where his hand was. I could feel goosebumps growing all over my body. 

“Thank you. I've even take in your outfit yet!” He laughs and stands up.

“Just casual, mate. Now come on lets go get coffee and go explore New York city.” I grin and get up. He takes my hand in his and pulls me out of the room with him and runs down the stairs. I giggle, covering my mouth.

“Yah gonna make me fall!” I scream. He laughs and pulls me closer by my hand. I blush brightly, looking up at him.

“Maybe I wanted you to fall...for me.” He whispers. Before I can even respond, I hear a cough and we're both pulling apart quicker than ever. I look over to where the cough came from and nearly die of relief. His mum at least didn't seem homophobic and was way more relaxed when meeting me than his dad.

“Oh, hey mum. Had a good rest?” Liam plays it off, walking over and kissing her cheek. She gives me a cold look and precedes to look at Liam.

“Just fine, babe. Where you off to?” He looks at me and smiles. I couldn't tell what this look was. I hadn't seen it on him. Yet, it was turning me on so much. The day was only just starting and I was done for it.

“We're gonna see the Statue of Liberty and maybe go to Central park. I heard theres a few concerts there today, so yeah. He's only just moved here, so I offered to show him 'round.” I smile at him and nod slowly. It sounded nice. I could take lots of photos for my scrapbook. Definitely wanted to remember this day.

“Alright. Well, be safe, love. You two stay near one another. Not like you're having a problem doing so right now..” Liam blushes brightly and laughs lightly.

“Okay!! We're going now. Love you ma.” He kisses her cheek and leave out the front door.

“Have a nice day, ma'am.” She smiles gently at me. 

“You too, hun. But, I've got a few words to have with you. So just a minute.” I frown. Why are his parents so nerve wrecking.? I nod and stand by the door awkwardly. 

“My son isn't gay. He's a flirt. He flirts with everyone and everything. I hope you see the difference. Because, I can tell, you probably aren't straight and my boy is. Just a flirty lad. He's charming, I know.” I look down and nod once more.

“I've gotta go. But, we're just friends, yeah? I'm not into dating anyone.” I open the door and walk out. I hurriedly walk over to Liam and smile gently.

“Took you long enough. What she say? I know she had to say something.” I laugh lightly and start walking with him down the street. 

“She told me you're not into guys and that you're just a flirt.” He shakes his head and smirk.

“Oh, that's nothing new. She tells everyone this. Guys and girls. He doesn't like you. He's just a flirt. It's her thing. She always think I like everyone I bring over. But she knows thats not true. I think she wants to keep it that way for as long as possible.” I nod once, taking in this information. So maybe he wasn't feeling like I was. Since this is just his character. He is charismatic. I sigh and walk to the station with him. Once we get on, we're off to destination one. Which happens to be a boat ride round the Statue of Liberty. I'm quite excited about that. Then we're gonna do some shopping at a nearby mall. And off to Central Park. I don't know how we're gonna do all of that and be home before it's late. But I trust him. I sit besides him on the subway. He puts an arm around me.

“So tell me, were you popular in school back in the UK?” I laugh and shake my head.

“Not really. I had a great time before year 9. I was popular and goofy. Everyone loved that. Then year 9 came around and it wasn't cool to be silly and dramatic. You had to be all fancy clothes and mad even when you're really happy. It was all stupid. And I started year 9, as an open individual. I was just screaming from the rough tops that I love guys and girls were great just not for me.” Liam smiles lightly and leans back.

“Sorry it wasn't all that pleasant. I hope the next two years are though.” I grin and nod.

“Me too. I'm gonna have a blast. I already have a best friend and Ive been here for 2, 3 weeks.” I smile at him.

“Oy! That better be me!” I giggle and shake my head.

“Maybe, maybe not. I don't know yet.” Liam gasps and move his arm from around me.

“Okay, what do I gotta do to make myself your best mate?” I grin, fully amused that he wants to work this hard.

“Hmm, maybe go buy me some clothes, take me to see the Statue of Liberty...perhaps hang out with me for the whole weekend.” He grins.

“Looks like I'm well on my way then.” 

It takes us 20 more minutes before we're finally at the point where we got off. I follow Liam off the subway and we walk to a body of water. I could see the statue from where we stood.

“Okay, so the boat should come in about 10minutes.” He says. I nod and look at the body of water. It was beautiful. I took out my iphone and started taking a few photos.

“Li? Lets take a photo. I want one at every destination.” He smiles and nods. He puts his arm around me and smiles at the camera. I stick my tongue out and snap the photo.

10 minutes later we're loaded up on a bus full of many other civilians. We ride around, listening to the tour guy mention random New York facts. Facts, nobody would generally care about or know if they didn't hear it from a tour guide. When we're finally inches away the Statue of Liberty, I stare at it in amazement. It's bigger than it looks in photos or on screen. It's amazing. I take plenty of photos and video tape the whole way back around the other side of the water. It was such a nice experience to be right here with him and enjoy the new city we live in.

After 30 minutes, the boat ride ends and we're getting off and walking back to the station. But first we stop to get coffee. A much needed stop, in my opinion.  
When we arrive at the small coffee shop, Liam insists on ordering my coffee the way he thinks i'd drink it. At of pure amusement, I let him. 

“Okay! Here. Two shots of espresso, milk, and 3 sugars.” I grin at him. I'm actually surprised he figured it out so well. I'd probably get less espresso next time, but it was pretty darn close.

“Wow. You're good, Liam.” He grins and me and sips at his coffee.

“I know.” I roll my eyes playfully and drink my coffee, smiling softly as I did. Everything seemed better around him. Even the simple things such as coffee. 

“I got you some sweets. I know you love the pastries, so I've got yah some.” I smile and look at the bag he's holding.

“Okay, what's it then?” He hands me the brown bag and walks pass me out the door. I laugh lightly and quickly follow him out.

“Thanks, Li.” He smiles and nods. I open the bag and take out what appears to be a jelly donut. Oooh. I feel spoiled already. 

“What are you having?” I ask. I take a small bite of the donut, nearly moaning as it melted in my mouth. I had a very soft sport for sweets and all things bad for you. He looks over at me and raises an eyebrow and keeps walking.

“What am I having? Coffee wise?” I nod and keep eating my donut.

“Black with two sugars.” I make a slight face.

“Oh. Well, you should try this. It's so good!” He laughs and walks down the stairs to the station. 

“That's okay, actually. I cant have too many sweets in a day.” I raise an eyebrow at him. I know he's a dancer and a football player, but, no sweets? Doesn't he burn a shitload of calories doing sports?

“Just a taste, then.” He sighs and sits down.

“Alright, alright.” He says, finally. I grin and sit beside him. I hold the powdery jelly donut up the his mouth. He blushes slightly and takes a small bite. He chews, thoughtfully.

“It's alright. I'm sure there's better sweets.” I laugh lightly.

“Tough critic, you are.” he smiles and watches as I eat the rest of the donut. I notice this because his piercing puppy dog eyes haven't left my face since he finished tasting it. I blush and look at him.

“Maybe it was good and you're lying. “ He shrugs and finally looks away. Our train finally comes, 15 minutes later and we hope onto it.

I love the city, it's beautiful. Its different taking the subway to loads of places and having things close and far apart all at the same. It's busy and everyone is always rushing. But it's fun to. As I sit next to Liam (who is still sipping at his black..coffee), I observe all the people around me. There's all sorts of people from seemingly different backgrounds. There's an elderly Asian couple in front of us who seems to be in love as ever. They hold hands and sit close to one another. Every time the other speaks, they look at one another with such endearment, you would think they've only just fallen. Then there's a few teenagers in the back. They're all laughing loudly and occasionally play fighting. They range in races, from black to white. There's a few business people in the front. They haven't even looked up from their tablets and non stop phone chatter. They seem to be the most in the rush. The calmest people on the subway, must be the mum's with their young. They play light heartedly with the little ones and seem to have some sort of comfort as they wait to arrive at their destination. I smile softly. Amazing how different yet the same we all are. I look up at Liam, wondering where we fall. Two friends who seem distant? New friends? A blossoming couple? I wonder what others saw when they looked our way.

“We're here.” Liam speaks, snapping me out of my little time trance. I smile at him and stand up, stretching as many people make an exit. I am quickly joining, with Liam in tow.

“This mall is huge, but so fun! We're going shopping-shopping. Alright?” I laugh at Liam's excitement.

“What does that even mean?” He grins.

“We're gonna have so much fun and leave with a bunch of shit!” I laugh and run with him, when he scurries off towards the entrance of the mall.

He pulls me into the first shop that grabs his attention. This just happens to be a sports wear shop. He looks around at all the cool clothes and equipment. I look at a few of the football stuff, but my attention stop just there. He, of course could look at sports stuff forever. We end up leaving with two new football kits(that wasn't even right for our school) and a new football. I laughed at his excitement over the sports gear. 

We then go into a few other random stores. We buy simple things here and there. Trying on all the sunnies and watches. Liam loves jewelry, I've come to learn on this trip. He even loves things that are not the most masculine. Which doesn't really surprise me, because I can read him better than most of his long time friends. He buys himself a coral glittery belt, that even I wouldn't wear. I grin at how comfortable he is with me.

“What are you going to wear that belt with?” I ask as we walk down the corridor. He shrugs and looks at me.

“Probably just use it in bed.” He says so casually. I cough and blush brightly.

“W..wha...t? I-in bed?” I sputter out after 10 seconds. He laughs loudly and push me gently.

“I'm joking!! Look at your face!” I laugh awkwardly and rub the back of my neck. Why does he do this to me so often?

“I assumed so. Hah...such a weirdo..” I laugh it off and stop in front of forever21.

“Lets go in here. I want to buy some stuff for my sisters.” I say to him. He nods and follows me inside. We start looking around. Liam picks up everything and keeps asking what my sisters like. It makes me smile. Makes me happy that he's interested in my family.

“Well, the 15 year old, Lauren, is into everything rock. She listens to heavy music and wears so much black. Its hard to believe that two years ago she wore everything with glitter and rhinestones. Sammie is 13, and she still loves dresses and all that typical 'girly' things. The 8 year old and 4 year old really will wear anything.” I tell him as I look at the dresses. I pink up a black and pink floral cami dress. I examine it. It looks a bit on the shorter side. But Sammie is only 5 foot. I'd have to get the smallest size. But, I think she'll like it. Especially, since its from 'the big girl' store. 

“Oh, Louis. I think this would look great on you.” I hear Liam say from behind me. I laugh lightly and turn around.

“What are you on about?” I stare at him. Why on earth is he holding this bright red dress up and talking about me? Makes no sense.

“Seriously. You have all the curves for it. I dare you to. Go try it on, now.” I gasp and blush lightly.

“What the fuck? No way! I'm not putting on a dress! Besides, I have no boobs!” He rolls his eyes.

“Are you really offended by a dress? It's just a cloth. We all know you're a guy.” I blink and look down. I bite my lip softly. I've never done anything of the sort before. Sure I had my fair share of 'girl' pieces in my wardrobe but never a dress or a skirt. It was weird and not something I ever thought about.

“Okay, whatever. I'll try it on. But I'm not coming out with it on.” He laughs and claps his hands.

“Okay, lets see this then! Oh and I have to see, so you gotta come out!” I roll my eyes.

“Or you can come in with me.” I wink. He blushes faintly and shrugs. He tosses me the dress and takes the other items I've collected for my sisters in his arms. 

“Go on then.” I groan and walk to the nearest free dressing room, I go in and shut the door. Liam is a piece of work. Yet, he somehow makes me do the weirdest shit. I slowly take off my clothes and slip the dress on. I groan when its a tight squeeze down my hips. When it's finally positioned on my body correctly, I dare to look at myself. My eyes widen as I see my body in the dress. The top looks a bit weird not being full with bosoms. The caged part lay flat on my back and ribs. The skirt rested right against my hips and butt. It accentuate my butt, making it look really full and good. I blush as I stare at my body. I suddenly felt more vulnerable than I have in awhile. I don't want Liam to see me like this. I look..so different. I look..feminine. I clear my throat.

“Um, Liam... I've finished. But you don't really need to see, yeah?” He laughs. 

“Now, how is it any good of a dare if I cant even see my work.” I roll my eyes at his cocky behavior. I open the door slightly as I take a deep breath.

“Get your arse in here then.” He chuckles and slides through the door, empty handed. I lean against the wall of the small room and fold my arms. I was starting to feel anxious. I was worried about how he'd react. He closes the door and finally looks up at me. His eyes widen as he stares at me. His brown puppy dog eyes travel up and down my body repeatedly. After minutes of silence, I groan.

“Okay!! SO? Yah gonna say something or what? I look a hot mess, huh?” He shakes his head and walks closer to me. He takes one of my hands in his. And clears his throat.

“Come on. Give me a spin, yeah?” I blush and spin around slowly for him. He grins and licks his lips.

“I'm good, aren't I? I should dress you.” I laugh and walk to the mirror.

“Why the fuck did you make me do this?” I mumble as I stare at my reflection. He stands behind me and looks at my reflection as well. His eyes roam my body for awhile before he answers me.

“Because I was curious to how good you would look in a dress. Dunno why...but, seeing you pick out clothes for your sisters, I couldn't help but to think you'd look good in anything..even a dress. Especially a dress. Maybe some tight trousers. You have a great body shape.” I blush brightly and look up at him, in the mirror.

“Thanks, I guess. Now you got me feeling all weird..” I say, laughing lightly. He smiles.

“You make me feel weird inside too.” He blushes lightly and peck my cheek. 

“Come on. Lets go check out. Oh, and I'm buying you this dress.” My eyes widen.

“What!? No way!” He roll his eyes.

“My money. I'll do what I want. Come on, you look great. Just let me.” I shake my head.

“I'll never wear it. It'll just sit in me closet, collecting dust.”

“Yes, you will wear it. If I told you to.” He smirks. I gasp and push him.

“You cocky bitch. I would not!” I slide out of the dress and start redressing in my own clothes. He grins and watches me. 

“Okay, whatever. You wont wear it. Just let me anyway.” He takes the dress and put it back on the hanger. I button my shorts and sigh.

“Whatever.” I walk out the room and pick up all of my stuff from where he sat it at. I still don't get his whole thing with this dress. It's so stupid. 

We go and checkout. We decide we've both bought quite a lot today and should go get food now. We walk in silence as we make our way to the food court.

When we get there, I found myself being amazed by all the choices. Obviously the malls Ive gone to had many choices. Just not as many as this one. 

“Oooh! Liam! Can we get tacos and maybe dessert!” He laughs at me.

“Okay, Lou. But we'll have to see who is selling tacos.” I nod and start looking around with him. 

“There's a taco bell right there.” Liam points ahead at the blue and purple sign and instantly light up. I didn't realize how hungry I was until we entered the food court. I follow him to the Taco bell where I hastily get in the short line. I smile up at him

“Do you-..?” I'm cut off by a loud voice calling out Liam's name.

“Liam!!” Liam and I both turn our heads to where the voice is coming from. I smile softly when I notice it was Liam's little blond friend, Niall.

“Oh hey, mate. How're you?” Liam says, walking towards him, meeting him in the middle. Niall hugs liam.

“I'm just great. What's up? Didn't know you were going shopping, could of gave me a ring.” He says. Liam smiles and pulls away.

“I'm with..Louis.” I sigh out of relief. Pleased that he didn't ignore me and pushed me to the side. I give him a small wave.

“Hello, Niall.” Niall nods once and looks back at Liam. He whispers something to him. Liam frowns and shakes his head.

“He's great. You should come over tomorrow and we can all hang out. Play some video games and stuff..” Niall sighs.

“I don't know. Maybe. I'll text you. I'm with my family so I'll see you later. Bye.” With that he leaves us alone to get our food.

“Sorry if you were annoyed by that.” Liam says to me. I shrug and make my order.

“ 4 of those crunchy tacos.” I say. The lady nods and tells me my total. 

“I'll have the soft taco supreme. Just one is alright.” I roll my eyes.

“How do you eat so little and do so much activity? I'm only in the drama club and lounge around on the weekends, yet I'm starving almost always.” Liam smiles and shrugs.

“When you do ballet...its such a different sport. I don't know, you want to eat less. You want more sleep and you want to do more work. Food seems like...unnecessary when you have technique to fix. And turns to perfect.” I frown at him. This part of Liam always confused me. The one who seen his sports far more important than his basic need to fuel.

“But don't you get tired and lethargic without food and doing all that work?” He shrugs.

“I can eat very little for a long time before I need to carb up. My body is trained for difficult situations, due to always having to be in check and work hard with sports and my body.” I stare at him, observingly. He did seem rather strong and full of muscle. He had a good healthy shape. 

“Okay. Maybe I'll be like that one day.”I joke as I take my food from the cashier. Liam pays and does the same. He smiles at my joke.

“You never know. You might just become sporty one of these days.” I laugh and sit down at an empty table with him. I instantly dig in and take a huge bite of my taco.

“Mmm...food is great, Li. I change me mind. I don't want to eat little bits.”He laughs and leans over and kisses my cheek gently.

“Good. You shouldn't have to. You deserve to do what you want.” I blush lightly and look at my food as I chew. I nod once. Not knowing how I should respond. He starts eating then too, realizing he may have over step. It's nice though. I love this Liam.

LATER

Liam's POV

It was nearly 10 PM when we finally arrived back home. I was exhausted. Louis seemed tired too. Yet, he was bouncing off the balls of his feet. We walk upstairs quietly and into my room. The house was pitch black and I had an urge to turn on all the lights like usual. But since Louis was right in my shadow, I felt like I needed to not do that. I enter my room and drop my bags by the door as I turn the lights on. Louis shuts the door and walks over to my bed. He plops on my bed and lets out a low groan.

“I'm tired, but I'm also not.” I laugh lightly and walk over to my closet. I place my shoes in there and turn around. I look at him as he lays there staring at the ceiling. I wonder how I got so comfortable so quickly with him. I wish I didn't want to kiss him every time he opened his mouth. I wish these feelings that are floating in my belly would just go away. It confuses me. I'm not allowed to be gay. I wont allow myself to be the gay dancer child of my father. Yet, I want to be so close to him. I want to hug him. I want to touch him. I want to listen to all his stories. I want to see him grow and I want to support him through everything. 

But only as a mate. Just a mate. I walk over to the bed and lay beside him. He smiles gently at me and we both look up at the ceiling.

We're great mates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be better! Please leave feedback or comments! Thanks! :)
> 
> Oh would you guys like visuals? Of the outfits and stuff? I could do that. I like that sometimes.


	4. With Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The journey only just started..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoy!   
> ~~there is a bit use of harsh language and wording. Please note of that~

Liam's POV

It's been weeks since I first met Louis. I cant even pretend like he's not the best thing that has happened to me since dance. He's a wonderful friend and we laugh so much when we're together. My friends have been getting suspicious as I keep spending my lunch hour not in the cafeteria. That's when me and Louis hangs the most during school hours. We take the lunch period and go off campus and eat some time. Or we eat in the library and walk around school. Or whatever we fancy that day. It's just so simple with him. I don't have to watch my every move to make sure I don't sound too 'gay'. I can talk about dance with him. Hell, I can wear my dance attire even when I'm not dancing and he doesn't question it. All my life I've searched for a friend like that. Somehow he just landed right in my lap at the right time. Quite literally.

“Liam! Are you not listening to meh!?” Louis yells. I laugh lightly and look at him. Currently we were sitting on the bleachers as we wait for Football practice to start for me.

“I'm sorry, mate. What did you say?” Louis gasps and shakes his head

“I cant believe you were ignoring the prince that sits before you. I blessed you with muh presence and you thought it was good to ignore me!?” I grin, completely entertained by his theatrics.

“Oh how could I've been so stupid! I'm so sorry, Prince Louis!” I get on my knees before him.

“Please forgive me! I am truly the most ignorant servant to ever brace your presence!” Louis smirks and folds his arms.

“Give me one good reason why I should forgive a simple peasant like you?” I pout.

“Maybe the fact that I'll buy you a whole dinner if you do.” I wiggle my eyebrows. “Of your choice.” He grins and raises an eyebrow.

“Oh, you really are trying to please me, huh?” He bites his lip. I blush faintly.

“Well, how could I not, when -” I'm cut off by loud clapping and a bit of laughing.

“So have the fag turned you, Liam?! Already have you on your knees?” I frown and stand up, rubbing my neck. I look at Louis. He offers me a sad smile.

“See you later, Liam.” I sigh and wave slightly.

“You're an ass, Anthony!” I yell and jump down from the bleachers. He scoffs.

“Whatever, you've been hanging with him a lot, haven't you?” I clenched my fists and relaxed them.

“Yeah, I have, actually. He's a pretty chill lad, unlike you. You're just insecure and lonely.” He narrows his eyes at me and steps closer.

“You better watch who you're talking to. I'll have your whole name through dirt in 5 minutes.” I roll my eyes and push him back.

“And I'll have you in the ICU before you can count to twenty- two.” Some of the football guys start laughing and shaking their head. Niall frowns at me.

“Liam, come on, mate. Don't do it. We all know you can break his face if you wanted to. But you have a better future than that, yeah?” I look at him and sigh. I nod once and walk away from him.

“Go on then, you little pussy! You wouldn't of been able to handle all of this anyway!” I laugh and flip him off.

“What's gotten into you, lately?” Niall asks as he sits me down on the bleachers. I look over at Louis, who is collecting his stuff. 

“Nothing. I just don't want people making fun of my friends. That's all. I'd do the same for you, Niall. And you know it.” Louis walks over and smiles lightly. I can tell by his eyes, he wants to say something really cheeky but he's refraining from doing so.

“Well, I'm not gay. So you wouldn't have to do that for me.” I roll my eyes.

“That's just the small piece of it all. People shouldn't bully others just because they don't like something about you. None of these lot...you included, even tried to get to know Louis. You all just judged from his appearance and act. And I'm not saying everyone should be friends with him. But I am saying that no one should bully him. Especially on such a trivial detail.” Louis smirks at me and leans over and gives me hug.

“Thanks, Liam.” He whispers before letting go.

“I'll see you around, yeah? You still owe me that free meal...peasant.” I laugh and roll my eyes.

Niall raises an eyebrow and folds his arms.

“Yeah, see you later, Louis. “ Louis smiles lightly at him and walks away.

“I'm sorry, Liam. Okay? Understand what you're trying to say. I'll give him a chance.” I grin at Niall and hug him tightly.

“Good! Cause he is so stupid, you're gonna love it.” He laughs and slings an arm around my shoulder.

“How about we ditch practice and go get some food.” I grin.

“Sounds great!” he smiles at me and we quickly sneak off from the field and quickly head to the locker room. We collect our bags and race to my car. I laugh lightly and hop into the front seat. I toss my bag in the back and start the car. Niall gets in besides me and puts his sack down. 

“Sheesh, always trying to outdo me!” I laugh at him and drive out of the school lot. I was actually really excited to hang with Niall. I haven't hung out with him much as I've been busy with sports and hanging out with Louis. We have been spending every weekend together and honestly, I'm not tired of him yet. It's always so enjoyable. He does seem to be holding somethings of himself back and I wonder why. I want him to completely trust me, like I do him.

“So, where are we going?” Niall asks as I near my home. I groan internally.

“My place? I have chips and turkey burgers and ice cream. I think that could hold you over til supper, yeah?” He smirks.

“You lazy bitch! Don't want to take your best friend out for a well deserved meal?” I roll my eyes.

“And what did you do? I think I did all the schooling today.” He laughs and punches me lightly. I smile and turn the corner to my house. 

“So, I think I'm gon' ask Meghan out.” He says, blushing faintly. I smirk, knowing he has had a crush on her for awhile. I park into the parking garage and turn off the car.

“Oh yeah?” I ask as I get out. Niall follows me out and puts his ruck sack over his shoulder. I grab mines and go to the door. I unlock it and switch the light up. I go in and Niall follows. He mumbles a few words that I don't catch as we walked through the house. I toss my bag on the couch and He copies my actions.

“What's that, babe?” Niall laughs lightly. I blush brightly, realizing what I just said. I look over at him and he is slightly red and rubbing his neck.

“I'm guessing you've picked that habit up from Louis, eh?” I shrug and walk into the kitchen. He follows close behind me.

“Oh, don't be embarrassed li li. We're mates. I'm not offended. I find it kind of...nice.” I blush more and shake me head.

“Sod off! I've finished with this. Now, You and Meghan.” I say as grab a bag of chips out the freezer. I place it on the counter and put the oil on.

“Hmm. Well, yeah. We've been talking a bit and she's nice. We face time a couple times a week at night, just to catch up. I don't know I really like her.” I smile as he talks about his crush.

“Yeah, well does she like you?” He shrugs. 

“Maybe. She's sort of flirty. But maybe that's her personality.” I shrug and taste the temperature of the oil. Once it's hot enough I add some chips in and let it cook away. 

“Just go for it. The worst that can happen is rejection. And if that does happen, well, we will get you right back up there in no time.” Niall laughs lightly.

“'S weird cause I don't really date. Just make outs here, a one night stand there. Now, I'm thinking about dating. “ I smile softly at him.

“Maybe it's cause you liiiike her.” I sing softly. 

..

The evening passes by quickly. After Niall and I ate a bunch of chips, we decided to lounge around in the living room and play video games. We have simple chat whilst enjoying each other company.

“Niall, what would you do if I was gay? I'm not, jus' wondering.” I ask cautiously. Making sure it sounded completely hypothetical. 

He glances at me and looks back at the screen.”Hm. You're not so?” He says as he shrugs. I crouch my character in hiding whilst I wait for Niall to meet me over. I bite at my lp as I think how else to rephrase my question.

“Would you be like the guys on the team, Niall?” He sighs and pauses the game. He looks at me.

“What's this about? Is it Louis? I told you I'd at least try with him.” I blush at the mention of Louis's name. Thinking about our little roll about we had on the same couch I'm sat on now.

“No! Why would it be about him?” Niall raises an eyebrow.

“Okay, Liam. I wouldn't attack you. I don't want to see you hurt, of course. I'd be confused to why you would want to be with men. I mean, yeah some aren't ugly. But girls are amazing. “ I sigh and sit upright.

“People don't choose to be gay. Did you choose to be straight? No, you woke up one day and were just attracted to girls. Once they didn't have cooties, of course. Louis hasn't choose his sexuality. In fact he hasn't even told me his. I think sexuality shouldn't be such a big deal.” Niall stares at me, clearly observing me and trying to understand.

“Are you gay, Liam?” He asks softly. I lick my lips furiously and run a hand through my hair. I wasn't ready for him to ask that just yet and I certainly didn't know how to answer.

“What if I was?” Niall laughs loudly and stands up.

“Why don't you answer me, Liam? Are you?” I shrug, suddenly feeling less confident and nervous. 

“D-does it r..really, matter..ni..Niall?” I stutter, bitting my lip nervously afterwards. He shakes his head.

“Oh my god. You are. You're fucking gay!? What the fuck Liam?! And how long have you been hiding this from me!?” I frown at all the yelling.

“Stop yelling, alright? Just take a seat and we can chat.” He laughs, a cold laugh.

“No, why would I want to take a seat? I bet you told your new friend...lewis all about your sexual struggles, huh? I thought we were friends!” I frown more and stand up.

“That's not true! I haven't discussed sexuality with him at all! You're s'ppose to be my best mate! Why are you acting like this!?” Niall scoffs.

“How am I suppose to believe you? You're always sneaking off with him. I see you guys walking around campus all the time. Acting like you're studying more when really you're cozying up with the school's latest fag!” I can feel my face heating up from the anger coursing through me. I scream loudly. Literally scream. I shock myself and Niall. He jumps at the sudden piercing sound that fills both of our ears.

“Get the fuck out then! I trusted you to just be me mate! I..i've hid this for years! Years!! I listened to the disgusting talk about how many girls so and so has shagged! I put up with all that disgusting talk that made me want to rip my ears off! The nerve some of you locker lads have! I wonder what half of the mums would think if they know how low you STRAIGHT guys think of women! Claiming pussy is the best thing you've ever had. Women are the best thing but they ain't shit! Using them just for their bodies! So fuck off! I'm gay! But you don't get to sit here and slander me and my friend.” Niall glares at me. His jaw locked and fists tighten in balls.

“What the hell has gotten into you?! You use to be cool, Liam. You've turned..weak. I never thought you'd have such a feminine side to you. Getting worked up about locker room talk? Guess you really are just another fag. I thought we we're gonna have a good life ahead of us. Being each other best man at our weddings.” He laughs lightly and shakes his head.

“I cant believe you've changed into one of them.” I frown, bitting my wobbling lip. The anger has mostly left me, as a wave of sadness courses through my body causing my hand to tremble slightly.

“Ni..you're the only person I've ever told. Please.. just be me mate, yeah?” He shakes his head and picks up his bag, slinging it over his shoulder. 

“We can't do that anymore. Goodbye, Liam.” With those final words, he rushes out the front door, slamming it on his way out. I've always known coming out was goin' to be hard. But never did I think I'd feel so empty and alone afterwards. I slump onto the floor and let the tears that were threatening to spill, finally fall. Did I really just lose my best friend because he fount out I was gay?

..

I must lay there on the floor for a couple of hours. I only get up when I see headlights through the dark living room. I quickly take myself up to my room where I shut and lock my door. I definitely didn't want to be confronted by any of my parents. To tell them what? They're strong son was crying because his ex best mate wasn't accepting of his sexuality? Why would I even dare? I'd lose them too.

I hear my mum come inside the house and the loud clanking of her heels as she walks around down stairs. It takes her a few minutes, but she's right to my door knocking softly.

“Liam, hun, I'm home. Are you awake?” I clear my throat before answering her.

“I've just had fallen asleep. Did you have a good day, mumma?” I hear a soft sigh 

“Are you going to open the door, love?” I bite my lip and rub my eyes. I get out of bed and quickly slide out of my day clothes and through a shirt over my torso. I open the bedroom door slowly.

“Sorry. I know you don't like that.” I say, referring to me speaking to her through the closed door. She smiles gently and kisses my cheek gently.

“Are you okay? You seem a bit warm.” I shrug.

“ I think I might be getting a bit ill.” I say quietly. Thinking that this would be the perfect excuse to skip school tomorrow. She frowns.

“Want me to put the kettle on? I can take your temperature.” I shake my head and hug her gently.

“No, no. I'm just gonna get some rest. Love you. Good night. She smiles softly and nods.

“Good night, baby. Feel better soon.” I nod and shut the door. I lay down on my bed and close my eyes. 

Today seemed as if it would be perfect. Then practice happened and it still was quite good. Then I opened my mouth and came out and ruined my whole week. Why! I should of just stayed quiet. He had only just decided to be friendly with Louis. I frown as I open my eyes. I wipe my tears away and call Louis. It was a bit late. But not too late. I'm sure he's awake still. After a few rings, he answers quietly.

“Hello?” I smile lightly. And clear my throat. I didn't want to sound as I've been crying.

“Hey, were you asleep?” He chuckles lightly.

“No. I don't answer calls when I'm asleep, unless I'm expecting some one. What's up?” I bite my lip. Not knowing if I should tell him or not. I know he'll be supportive. I mean, he has been all this time, with everything else. Although, Niall. He was supportive too. I feel my eyes water as I think about it for the millionth time since he's gone.

“Liam? You there?” I get pulled away from my thoughts by the soft Doncaster voice.

“Lou. I.. I..” I take a deep breath. I was not about to cry on the phone. But I've never even told him I was gay. How do I even tell him what happened!

“I've lost my friend.” I say after a couple more minutes of contemplating. Louis gasps loudly.

“What? I'm so sorry! How did they die?” My eyes widen, thinking of how dramatic I must of just sound.

“I didn't mean by death. I meant...he walked away from our friendship.” Louis sighs loudly.

“Gee, Liam! Give someone a heart attack doing just that!” He sighs again. “What kind of friend was he, if he just walked away from someone as goofy as you? You're a teddy bear. Act like you're all strong, but I know you're softer than pudding. If he left you, then he wasn't worth your friendship in the beginning.” It only took a few soft words from Louis to make me break down for the second time today. I couldn't hold back the tears that fell as I sniffled the snot that dripped near the end of my nostrils. I probably sounded like a complete wreck to him.

“Oh dear...I'm sorry, Liam. I really am. What has happened? He must of actually been a good mate to have you this worked up.” I cough lightly as I continue to cry. I shake my head, as if he could see me.

“H-h..he...was mu..my..first...my first friend...here.” I said, hiccuping in between words. “How do I lose my first friend?” I wipe at my eyes roughly as I curl into my blanket more. Only hoping that my mother hadn't heard my cries.

“I don't know, babe. I don't know.” Louis speaks softly into the phone.”I'm here for you, Li. I'm your friend and I wouldn't just walk out on you. I know we only just met. But I swear I wouldn't. Unless maybe if you've committed a great crime against me or my family. But, even then, I'd leave with a heavy heart.” I laugh lightly and reach for the kleenex. I blow my nose quietly and sigh softly.

“I'm gay, Louis.” I hear complete silence for 10 seconds. And I start to panic. This is it! I'm going to lose Louis too. My eyes tear up, yet again.

“I'm gay. I can't change that. I tried to so many times. I tried ignoring it. I tried hating myself. Hating other gays. But, I'm gay. And I wish I wasn't.” I continue. Knowing that I was risking everything right now. But I couldn't stop. I just needed off my chest.

“My friend who was everything...ditched me because of it. He hates me now. You probably think I'm weird too and wondering what is wrong with me. My dad is gonna send me back to Church for holy cleansing when he finds out. My mum will just ignore it. My whole football team, will reject me. I'm sure by tomorrow word will be out. I'll be the new center of gossip. Please..Louis. Please don't hate me too.” I cry lightly, rubbing at my now red and irritated eyes.

“Liam. Shut up! I don't hate you. I could never. I'm queer me self. Hating you just because of your sexuality would make me the biggest hypocrite ever. Gee. Babe, whyja come out to me over the phone? Should of rang me to come over so I could give you a proper cuddle.” I sigh in relief and laugh softly. Although I was hurting, I was super happy to know Louis is still here for me. And he's a member of LGBT community. 

“You can give me one tomorrow. I'm sure I'll still need it.” I say sadly. He sighs softly.

“You don't think about any of that other stuff. Coming out is scary. And it's hard being rejected by people you care about and love. I've lost a lot of people. But I've gained so much more, Li. So much more. I can be me so much easier. I can make friends for who I am. I don't have to pretend to like Ashley what's her name or talk about weird shit that I don't like. I've gained a fresh new confidence. Life is so much more beautiful when you're true to yourself. So stay true to you. I'm proud of you, Li. I really am. You made such big steps in your life today. And you know what, that guy is one friend. But I'm sure he'll not be as great as all your future friends. Including me. I'm hear for you. And you never know. With time, he might come around. That happens sometimes. Happened with me Nan. Can happen with him too.” I smile. I felt so thankful for having Louis. I don't think I'd be as happy as I am right now if today's events occurred without this ending.

“Thank you so much, Louis. I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?” I smile softly into the phone.

“Of course. Good night, Liam. Sleep well.”

“Night.” I whisper as I hang up.

I'm not alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, so that happened. I had a writers block with all the craziness in my life... i didn't even know what to write. Hope this was good!


	5. Dance It All Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After his short convo with Niall.. Liam skips school but attends dance lessons as he performs a passionate piece in front of fellow dance peers...his dance leaves him near to tears after a sudden realization hits him harder than ever. Which leaves him to yet again turn to Louis for a bit of a cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-PgmZpYr9k
> 
> He does his ballet piece to this. I wanted to incorporate more dance in this. Just in case, i was straying away from the (dancer liam).

Liam's POV

I wake up to the sound of birds chirping and my mother lightly shaking me. I rub my eyes sleepily and yawn.

“Yah?” I say, my voice slightly hoarse from all the crying. 

“You've got school, love.”

“I don't feel well, mumma. Can I just stay in?” She rubs my back gently.

“What's wrong?” I sigh and look at her.

“I just have a bit of sore throat. Please. “ She nods in understanding.

“I'll put the kettle on and bring some up.” 

It doesn't take me long to fall back to sleep. I hear faint foot steps and a soft whisper, “Get better.” before I finally fall completely out.  
..

I'm once again, startled awake when I hear my phone ringing loudly. I jump up and groan. I grab my phone and answer it harshly, “what is it!?” I hear a familiar chuckle from the other end.

“Gee, mate, you really aren't having a good day, huh?” I sigh softly, feeling bad from answering so rudely.

“I'm sorry, how are you?” I smile lightly into the phone. I loved hearing his voice.

“I'm alright, actually. The question is how're you? I'vent seen you today.” 

“Well, that's cause I haven't gone.” He gasps.

“You playing hooky!? What? Didn't even have me join?” I laugh and roll my eyes.

“I'm 'sick'. A bit of sore throat and all.” 

“Oh. You're not sick. You've gone into hiding because of yesterday. The best way to deal with this, you know, is to jump right in there and see the damage front first.” I bit my lip, shrugging at his comment.

“Maybe. I'll go tomorrow. I just needed a small break. I know I cant hide forever. “ I look over at the clock and frown.

“Is it really 3:30?!” Louis laughs.

“You slept the whole day! Wow! Even I can't manage that!” 

“Shite! I've gotta go! Bye!” I hang up and run to the washroom. I turn on the shower and exit out. I go to my walk in closet and look through the drawers in the far back. I rummage through it until I find some black tights and a short sleeve white v neck. I throw them in my gym bag and look for my ballet slippers. Today is actually a massive day for me. To test our performance ability, our dance studios do mini performance shows where they judge your acts. I have two acts, a lyrical piece and a ballet piece. Although I've been practicing for days- weeks, I'm still really nervous. I want to be good. No, I want to be great. One of the best. I find my ballet shoes and place them in my bag as well as some Nike shorts. I quickly run back into the washroom room, where I wash off quickly.

As I wash my hair, I cant help but think about changing my lyrical piece. I have a perfect song and a great dance. But, I don't feel like dancing that dance. Maybe it's because I'm still down about last night. I sigh and rinse my hair out as I think it over. I do have a bit of time before it starts; I can probably change it. I get out and towel off. I walk into the bedroom and scream loudly as I cover my privates.

“OH MY FUCK!!” I yell. Louis laughs loudly at me.

“YIKES! I'm sorry. I'm sorry!” he continues to laugh. I glare at him. I had just gone in for less than 10 minutes and no one was in my room. How did he even get in here? And was so quiet.

“Your mum let me in on her way out. Told me she'd be home late and to make sure you were feeling better.” I groan and go back into the bathroom. I retrieve the previously discarded towel and wrap it around my waist. I walk back into my room and sigh. Suddenly feeling really tense.

“Well, I'm leaving, so you can just go now.” He frowns and stares at me. Making me blush faintly. I hated when he got all quiet and just stared. I walk into my closet and took out some joggers and a muscle tank. I walk back into the room to see him still sitting there. I sigh.

“Did you need something, Louis?” He smiles softly and walks over.

“You're gonna be okay?” I nod once, looking down. Of course I was. I always was. I had to be. I couldn't cry forever, now could I?

“You're brave. You're gonna get through this. And I'm right here for you.” I blink away some tears and nod once again. I walk to my dresser and took out some boxers. I slide them on and drop my towel.

“Thank you, Lou. Thank you.” he smiles and walks over to me once again. He hugs me tightly.

“Of course! We're best mates! I do these kind of things.” I smile softly and wrap my arms around his waist. I take in his scent, enjoying the long hug before having to pull away. I cant imagine what I would do without Louis. I haven't told my parents yet and I'm already a mess. I pull away from the comfort of his arms.

“I don't mean to sound like a snob, but could you leave? I've got to be going now.” He raises an eyebrow.

“Where to?” I shrug and finish getting dressed.

“Dance.” 

“Can I comeeee toooo?” He sings out. I smile at him and shake my head.

“No, but why don't you stay around here and we can hang or you can come back later. I wont come home til around 9 or 10.” Louis seems to think my offer over as I get my bag and sling it over my shoulder. I look around my messy room for my keys and wallet. Once I find them I look over at him.

“So?” He nods once.

“I'll come back 'round I guess.”

“Sounds good. I'll text you and I can pick you up.” We both exit my room and go down the wooden stairs. I hear Louis softly singing, under his breath.

“What's that?” I say as I open the front door and wait for him to step out. He blushes and shakes his head as he walks out.

“Nothiiing.” I laugh.

“Is Louis Tomlinson actually being shy right now!?” He groans. 

“Of course not! Of course not! I was just singing....Little Einsteins theme song.” I grin at him

“Really?!” I go to my car and open the drivers' door.

“Yes. Now stop acting so surprised. I have little siblings you know.” I smile and get in the car. 

“See you later, Lou.”

..

I was warmed up and already practicing my new routine when a fellow dance peer came over and tapped me on the shoulder. I turn and smile gently at him.

“Can I help you?” I ask politely, trying not to be annoyed that I had to stop my rehearsals.

“Yeah, actually. I've notice your arabesque is really high. Do you mind sparing a few minutes and helping me?” I stare at him, confused. I couldn't quite tell if he was mocking me or genuine.

“Just stretch and practice, mate.” He frowns, not looking satisfied with my answer.

“What kind of stretches? I keep getting scolded at, because my technique is shit. I've only just started ballet a few months ago. I smile lightly at him. Remembering how horrible I was when I first started. I'm still quite rubbish, but I've improved a lot.

“Okay. Here's some tips that will help you with everything in general. Stretch...all the time. The more flexible you are the easier it'll be for you. Warm up properly. If your body is too stiff, you wont be able to prevail as well as you could. And finally, don't get discouraged. I suck too, and I was worse in the beginning. We're all improving as we learn and practice. “ He smiles at me.

“Thank you, so much! Maybe we can fool around in studio some time.” I laugh softly and nod.

“Sure...Sam?” He nods. “Yup, Sam I Am.” I grin and walk over to my phone where my music was playing at and restart the song.

“Practice must go on.” I say with a soft sigh. He nods in understanding and walks back to the sides where he was sat at before.

I close my eyes as I let the music flow through my body. Step by step, note by note, I move and share the message of the song. I try my best to perfect all my turns. They were weak and needed improvement. I listen to the lyrics, feeling my toes land softly on the floor after being in tour en l'air. My body flows in sync with the music as my heart beats louder. The sound of Ed Sheeren and Abel's voice calling my feet to move swiftly towards it. When the music closes I take a deep exhale and walk back over to my phone. I definitely was feeling this piece more than my previous. Although, it was contemporary, instead of lyrical. I don't think it should matter much. I change my music to a soft violin, piano mix of Mirrors by Justin Timberlake. This piece was a very dear piece to me. I've been working out it since January. I love JT. His music always spoke to me. I wanted to sell it good to everyone, so I'm using a few props. The song isn't your typical genre for ballet. But the cover version is slowed down and completely instrumental. I think it's perfect. Now, I just have to perform it well and all is well.  
..  
It was 6:45 PM. I witnessed performances after performances. Lots of people running around, freaking out on nerves. I saw the teachers critique the acts whilst on stage. I saw people run off crying, think their careers have ended. I saw some people giving one another proud smiles. And now, it was finally my turn. I was nervous and scared. I wanted to be good, of course. I strive to do everything as perfect as possible. I was performing my Ballet piece with props first. So many things could go wrong. I could fall into the Mirror. I could slip. I could focus too much on the props that I forget to perfect my technique. 

“Next, performing Mirrors is Liam Payne.” I hear the announcer say. I take a deep breath and wiggle my arms and legs out. I walk out to the small stage. I look at the crowd and grimace slightly. The dance studio is quite large and everyone comes and performs on this day. I knew this; yet seeing everyone there was shocking. I get into my first position and when the music fills my ears, I let out my last bits of nerves and just move. I can hear a few small cheers coming from the drapes where I've just come from. I see the teachers before me and the dance students all watching as the music fills the rather quiet room. I'm half way through the song where I complete five chaines. I hear a lot of cheers when i've completed them almost perfectly. I mentally kick myself for nearly falling out too early. I continue the dance, performing for the rest of the song with little to no mistakes. When the piano ends the song, I exit out de cote, with my head held high. I grin when I'm behind the drapes and run over to Sara. 

“Oh gosh! I feel so happy after that!” I say, pulling her into a hug. She laughs and kisses my cheek.

“You did so well, babe! With those turns! You're getting better and better!” I blush and grin at her compliments. 

“I cant wait to see you perform! I know you'll smash it.” She smiles and pulls away from our tight hug. 

We go to the drapes where we watch the other performances. In less than 20 minutes, Sara goes up and does a beautiful ballet performance to a classical song. She did everything perfect; which didn't surprise me, considering she was one of the best dancers out there. Sam goes up next, and I was quite surprise to see him do a contemporary hip hop piece. It was really cool and I definitely would have to ask him to show me some of his moves sometime.

It doesn't take long before my name is being called out again. I debated with myself for hours if I should do contemporary or lyrical. I some how ended up with a wild card.

“Go on, babe. When you hear that first key, you'll know which it is.” I groan at Sara's soft voice as she pushes me through the drapes. You see, Sara decided she'd pick which song i'd dance to, thus making me not really know what I was about to perform. I sashay my way to center stage and wait to hear the first key of music. Instead, I hear the soft hums of mmmm's. My heart nearly drops. I didn't know if I was ready to dance to that. I must have been frozen, because I hear a loud 'Woo!' from the drapes that makes me shake and quickly and move to the song. I close my eyes for a brief moment and force myself to rid of those previous thoughts.

I listen to Abel's voice and dance at a medium fast pace. When Abel sings the line, only my mother could love me for me, I was ready to break. Would my mum still love me after I've come clean about everything? I don't know if I'm ready to be brave like Louis. I don't know if I can deal with being me, in a world full of hatred for people just like me. Niall only fount out one piece of me and he fled. But wait 'til he finds out I dance. My only solutions will be taken away from me. I'd hate to turn to drugs or drinking. My right arm drops and my head droops as the last line is sang. My left arm is then placed over my eyes as I make an exit off the stage. I remove my arm once I'm near the drapes and finally leave the stage. I look over at Sara who gives me a small smile.

“You did great.” I smile sadly and shrug. I sit down besides her and look at my lap. In one minute, i'll be glad back for judging. I know they're gonna pull the hell out me for that last dance. I started late. I messed up a lot. I don't even know what I did. I groan and run a shaky hand through my sweaty hair.

“Shh. Liam, these aren't exams. I know it feels like. But it's for you. To improve and get use to performing. I remember my first performances and they were no where near as good as yours were. You're a natural. Don't fret.” I sigh and look at her with a small pout. These felt more important than exams! And I'm a straight A student. I want all good marks. I get all good marks!

“Liam Payne come to the stage for scoring.” I groan and drag my feet to the drapes where I quickly straighten up and walk out tall and confident. Even though I felt small and irrelevant.

“Liam Payne performed Mirrors a ballet piece and Dark Times, a lyrical piece.” I bite my lip. Damn it, they hadn't corrected the forms. It wasn't even lyrical, at all.

“Mr. Payne, your ballet piece has scored a 93. You had a perfect 10/10 for timing, eye contact, organization, and level. You have fallen a bit shorter than liked for certain techniques. You should work on your arches and standing up straighter. When you exhale and roll your back in, it makes you look boxy instead of tall and strong. Your turns were magnificent and impressed all three of us judges. We would of liked more use of the mirror instead of you dance in front of it and occasionally glancing into it.” I frown slightly. All I could hear was all the negative. I shouldn't of gotten a 94. I needed better. I have to do better. 

“Hello, Mr. Payne. You don't have to look so nervous.” Another teacher (and judge) say. He smiles softly at me. I think he was the junior hip hop teacher. I nod once and give him a small smile as I fold my hands behind my back.

“I think you did really well on your other piece, Dark Times. It was beautiful and I felt moved by it. The other judges and I were confused by its labeling, as it's not lyrical.” I nod once, knowing I have to speak up.

“That was a mistake, sir. It's a contemporary piece.” I say softly. He nods and the judge next to him, whispers something to him, which he nods to again.

“Alright, well. We took points off for that, unfortunately. You have received a total score of 98 for this act. We felt you posed much emotion and strong movements. It some ways, it was a contrast to your earlier piece. The timing was a bit off in the beginning as you were a few beats behind. But other than that, you did quite well.” I smile softly and look down. Wow. I'm lost for words. My worse piece was better?

“Thank you, Liam. We hope you reflect on what we have said and work hard on improving your skills.” I smile and thank them before exiting the stage. I was feeling all sort of emotions. I could feel the tears etched in the back of my eyeballs. But I know better than to cry in front of so many people. I walk over to Sara and Sam and smile softly.

“Wasn't so bad, right?” Sam says gently. I shrug and nod once. Yeah, it was hell. I got judged in front of everyone and I didn't have perfect scores. I wanted perfect scores. 

“Of course not. You did well yourself. You'll have to teach me a bit of hip hop moves sometime, eh?” He grins and nods eagerly.

“Absolutely!! Tell me when! Actually, lemme give you my number!” I laugh lightly at him and raise an eyebrow.

“It's alright, you can relax. I'm not leaving just yet, but I've got to wee, so I'll be in Studio A.” He smiles and nods, blushing faintly. I lea over and kiss Sara cheek as I say bye and quickly exit to the loo.  
I know I should be more happy, considering my scores weren't as low as some scores. But I couldn't just smile. I wanted to be a perfect...ballerina. I blush faintly at my thoughts. I go to the urinal and unzip my pants and relieve myself

Most people would laugh if I said I wanted to be a ballerina. But I really love ballet. And the title ballerina sounds so beautiful. I see how some of the girls dance and I'm jealous for so many reasons. And the guys too. My infatuation with ballet started sort of randomly. I was watching a film called Save the Last Dance when I was 12 and I was in complete awe. It only led to me watching more films, such as The Black Swan, and Ballerina. I was just so amazed. It looked beautiful and I'm sure it felt nice. I was also a bit attracted to all of the tutus. Although my former self would never admit that. Even now, I'd tell no one that I really wanted to put on a leotard and a tutu and dance around my room after watching the black swan. I did settle for the more masculine version of a ballerina. Even though, time again, I want to put on a tutu and dance around a bit. I know, I cant do that. And I don't actually know why. 

Maybe it's just the thought of being seen as pretty. A word, most guys stray from if they're called that. I'd be more than thrilled if I was ever seen as pretty. But instead I'm boxy and masculine. Which, I don't mind. But sometimes, I want to just be pretty. I frown as I finish and wash my hands. 

I didn't deserve to be pretty anyway.

..

It was 10:30 PM when I finally left the studio. I had told Louis we'd hang afterwards, but since it was so late, I thought other wise. I decided to drive straight home as I tried not to think about the dark cloud that sat over my shoulder. 

I did perform well for a beginner and am relatively proud of my improvements. Obviously, I'm upset that I didn't score higher and messed up as much as I did. But the dark cloud didn't really have to do with my acts. It had to do more with, what's going to happen now.

Dance usually puts all my worries away. And it did for the most part. But now, all I can hear is only my mother could love me for me. And my brain is replaying it as if it was a mantra of some sort. The line makes me more sad the more I think about it. My mother wouldn't see me the same if I just poured my heart to her. So why do I have this sudden urge to just be real and tell her everything? I know, my parents would say 'what a shame,' if i've brought this news to them. My dad would say something along the lines of, you could have been the best teenage boxing player out there. My mum would ask if something is wrong or if there's a girl at dance that I really fancy. I laugh lightly and shake my head. A girl at dance? Never would there be a girl I like. They would be confused and upset. I couldn't do that to them.

I pulled up into the parkway and frown when I see a certain someone sitting on my porch. I quickly put the car in park and turn off the ignition. I hope my car door and grab my bag. I walk over to the porch rather fast.

“What are you doing out here?” I ask the feathered hair lad that's sat at the stairs of the front door.

“Well, hello to you too! How'd it go? I only just came. Wanted to see how it went.” Louis says softly. My heart swells with all sort of emotion. He's so caring. He came out here, late on a school night just to ask how dance went for me. One of my hobbies. He actually. I run a hand through my messy hair and sit down by him.

“You didn't have to come all the way over here. Could've just called or texted.” 

“Yeah, but then you'd probably reveal something big and important and i'd be upset that I couldn't properly react in person.” I roll my eyes, knowing exactly what he was referring to.

“Okay, whatever. It went well, I suppose. I scored high enough to be seen as good by my peers. But not the best.” Louis frowns at me.

“You strive high is all. Im sure you did perfect!” I roll my eyes. Why is he always so optimistic. He acts like he never has anything to lose. Like everything is always going to be fine no matter what.

“You weren't there. It wasn't perfect. A 93 and 98. Not perfect. Perfect is 100 and 100. Perfect is saying, Wow, Liam, you can get a dance scholarship with the way you dance so effortlessly. I did okay and I have to do better.” Louis nods slowly and puts a hand on my knee.

“I understand. You want to always be your best. But sometimes, we just aren't at our best. Doesn't mean we cant be or we wont be.” I groan and push his hand off my knee.

“Why are you always acting so positive about shit? You act like I can just get better! I need to take more classes to get better, you know?! And I cant do that, because I'm already paying with all my savings. That will run out soon. And my allowance wont cut it. I cant get a job right now because of school and dance and football. So what am I suppose to do? That's right, I do nothing. I wont improve, unless I can dance more. And who is going to help me dance more? Exactly! No one! My mother certainly wont.” 

“Liam. Don't yell at me, alright? I'm sorry. I wish I could help cover the costs of dance. Help your parents see how happy it makes you, but I cant, can I? You can improve as you have been with just the classes you're taking now. Don't be sad about it. Remember? With time. Your mother might come around.” I shake my head and look down. I suddenly felt really bad for snapping at Louis. He has been helping me a lot in the last few weeks. I smile sadly at him.

“I know, lou. I know. With time. She might just accept me. With time, she just might be okay with dance. But there's always the thought that she wont.” Louis launches forward and hugs me tightly. I laugh lightly and hug back, closing my eyes.  
“It hurts now. It sucks now. But it wont always hurt, li. It wont always suck.” I bite my lip, forcing myself to not cry. 

“I sure hope not.” I kiss his shoulder gently and pull him closer. I don't know why, but I just needed him close. Maybe so I didn't feel so alone. Or Maybe it was just because he smelled so good. I blush at my thoughts and instantly pull away. He smiles at me and rubs my shoulder gently.

“Go get some rest, Liam. I'm here for you, okay? Tomorrow, I'm here, okay. Don't shut me out.” I frown. Not knowing why he'd think I would just randomly shut him out after he has been helping me so much.

“Of course not. Good night, Louis.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all liked. Sorry, it was kind of meh.


	6. The Closet Case

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After having to go back to school, rumours about Liam appear to be going around and makes him an anxious mess all through out the day. Louis tries to be there.. but Liam seems to not want his help. Liam confronts Niall who swears he didn't say anything to anyone..which then makes Liam suspicious of his new found friend. He wouldn't..or would he?

Liam's POV

I've been sat in my car for the past 30 minutes. I woke up very early as I was too nervous to sleep. What if Niall has told the whole team about my revelation. It's nearly time for the first bell. Most students are here. The lot is full of cars and buses dropping fellow peers off. I groan and hit my head on the steering wheel. This is so hard. Everyone is going to laugh at me. Tease me. Bully me. Make jokes that aren't even funny. And of course, I'll cry. Cause I'm a fucking baby. I sigh and run a hand through my messy hair. I hadn't even bothered with my hair or outfit today. I just threw on some black sweats and a gray t shirt. I unbuckle my belt and climb into the back where I retrieve my bag and a long discarded black beanie. I sigh once more and get out the car.

“Here goes nothing.” I mumble as I make my way through the crowd of people. I quickly go to my locker and throw in all my day's books' so I wouldn't have to return back to the locker. I wanted to avoid halls and any altercations. I close my locker and silently debate whether or not I should go to homeroom early or wait until first bell. 

There's a light tap on my shoulder that causes me to tense and slowly turn around. I instantly relax when I see the familiar blue eyes. 

“Hey babe. We've got homeroom. Come on, now. Bell just rung.” I frown, hadn't not even heard it. I nod once and start walking to the room with him. He smiles up at me.

“Did you see the Sun? I think today will be.. BRIGHT.” He laughs at his very lame joke. I grin and put my arm around his curvy waist.

“It's always BRIGHT when you're near.” He giggles and walk into the room with me. I tense for the millionth time today as I look around. I notice Niall and Anthony in the far right corner. I can see them staring hard at me. I frown and remove my arm from around Lou's waist. I nod at him and take my sit in the front. Louis huffs lightly and take his place next to me. He leans over and whispers. “Please tell me, Niall isn't the friend..” I smile sadly at him and nod once. I look ahead and take a deep breath.

“What the fuck!?” My eyes widen and my head snaps towards Louis.

“Shut up! Don't make a scene, lou..please.” a small whimper escape my mouth against my will.

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry.” He nods slowly and sits back on his bottom. I ignore everything for the next 20 minutes. I don't look back at Niall and Anthony. Even though I really want to know if they're staring. What has Niall said. If they're gonna make a scene at practice or lunch. The bell rings loudly, breaking me from my sad thoughts. 

I quickly get up and exit out before Louis or anyone could catch up with me. I don't think i'll be doing much talking today. My main focus is just to finish as quickly as possible. 

I enter my next class and take a sit at the far back. Mr. Harrison smiles at me. I was the only kid in the room, as everyone else were still wandering the halls before the final class bell rang. I sigh softly and lay my head on the desk. 

Dear God, I know I'm not very religious..but please, let this day go smoothly. Or as Louis says.. BRIGHT. … Amen.  
…

By Lunch time, I was exhausted. I was dodging everyone I knew and felt a bit paranoid. It seemed as everyone was whispering or staring at me. People who I barely know or even recognize. I bite my lip nervously as I enter the cafeteria. I keep my head down as I make my way to the long line.

“Liam! Come sit with me, yeah?” I look over at Louis and shrug slightly. 

“Maybe.” I mouth. He frowns and raises an eyebrow at me. I decide to ignore him and continue waiting in line for a tray of food. 

Waiting seemed to be pointless. I'm not even hungry. I shake my head and walk out of the line. Just as I was walking towards Louis, some one trips me and I fall right on my face. I place my hands flat down, trying to break my fall. I wince at the ripe pain in my jaw. I look up to see the reason for my fall.

Joshua. I rub my jaw and stand up, instantly puffing my chest out.

“You got a fucking problem!?” I yell as I march towards him. He chuckles, as well as his other mates.

“Nah, but apparently you do. At least I know I'm right in the bed...unlike you.” I frown, feeling the insecurity creep back onto me.

“What're you on about?!”

“Oh you know..your little problem..don't make me say it, man.” my hands twitch with the need to punch him. I take a deep breath.

“You don't know shit about me. So you better shut up or I'll let you find out something about me in a way you wish it would of never happened.” And with that, I turn on my heels and quickly exit out the cafeteria. I was well aware of the stares and commotion we started. I just tried to ignore it as I ran to the washrooms. I quickly go to a stall and shut the door. I groan and punch the wall. 

Why did I do this?! Why did I decide to tell Niall anything!? This is all my fault. Now everyone is seconds from finding out and there's nothing I can do about it. I grab my chest, suddenly feeling like I couldn't breathe as I choked on air. I fall onto the floor and cough a couple times as tears well up in my eyes. 

Why? Why? Why? Is all I could think as my whole body shook while tears poured down my cheeks. 

“Liam? You alright?” I hear a soft Irish voice ask. I groan and quickly try to even out my breaths as I placed my head between my legs. 

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven.

You are okay, Liam. You're just fine. No one knows anything. Except for that stupid voice that's calling you right now. 

With that last thought, I quickly wipe my face of tears and open the stall. I see Niall standing near the sinks, actually looking a tad bit worried. I roll my eyes. Because I know, he isn't. He's wanting to know how much damage he's done yet.

“Why the hell did you tell them!?” I yell as I charge forward. Niall quickly covers his face, to protect himself from getting hit. I grab him by his shirt and push him against the wall.

“You didn't have to hang out with me! You could of just left me be! But No!! You had to tell them!” Niall frowns at me.

“Liam. Let go of me. Alright? You're just freaking yourself out. I didn't tell anyone, I swear. Even though I don't agree with this...part of your life. And I chose to walk away from it. Doesn't mean I would break your trust and tell everyone.” He speaks so softly to me. I almost forget that he is homophobic. I groan and let go of him.

“Joshua knows! He's on the football team! How else would he of found out? I'm not out to anyone but You..and..” I frown as my mind falls onto Louis. He wouldn't. He wouldn't dare. Would he? Niall sighs.

“Oh so you and Louis are alright then? Makes sense, since he's like yourself. Except... he probably doesn't want you to have friends and would stop you for having to hang out with yours so he could be closer to you. Hm. Simple logic. That's juvenile. But look at your mess, eh?” I frown at him and walk over to the sink where I splash water on my face.

Louis wouldn't want me to hurt just so I could be friends with him. We're already friends.

“Get your friend then. Seems to need a leash. And don't be crying in the stalls. Look ridiculous. Makes you appear more...gay. At least you're straight passing for now.” He walks out the bathroom, leaving me sadden and confused. 

Did Louis just out me?  
… 

Liam walks around the rest of the day, definitely feeling less optimistic than he was earlier. Louis was suppose to be his friend. He trusted him. 

When the final bell rings, Liam practically runs out of school. He goes straight to his car, skipping practice once again. This time, because he cant stomach seeing Niall or Joshua whilst knowing they both find the very sight of him vile. I take out my iphone 6 and send a quick message to Louis

//Come 2 my car real quick . Sent 3:58

//Coming!!! Received 3:59

I sigh and buckle up. Barely 5 minutes pass, before Louis is knocking at my window and opening the passenger door.

“Hey! I thought you left, as I didn't see you after the little altercation at lunch.” I tighten my fist as I think about that whole cafeteria scene.

“Hm, wouldn't you know.” He frowns and turns in his seat, so his whole body is facing me.

“What's that s'ppose to mean?” I look at him. His beautiful blue eyes piercing into my skin. He had stray pieces of hair falling to the side of his cheek, not quite staying with his fringe. His cheeks tinted red from the long, hot day. He was pretty. Pretty and I thought nice. Honest. I really think I was...

I pull myself away from my thoughts.

“Did you or did you not tell people about my sexuality?” His eyebrows furrow.

“What!? Why would I do that?” 

“How did Joshua and his clan find out!? I nearly killed Niall in the toilets cause I thought it was him who told and he swore it wasn't. Then I thought a little bit and i was confused. Because No, no! Louis Tomlinson would never do that! He knows what its like for being bullied for things of this nature. Then Niall was...just Niall. Softly reminding me that sometimes people want the same bad things to happen to people similar to them..” Louis is full on frowning now, he opens the door and shakes his head.

“You're sick to think I would want bad shit to happen to you. You're also so naive to listen to Niall, a homophobe..and ex friend.” I bite my lip and shrug.

“I don't know who to believe anymore.” I mumble, looking down at my hands.

“Hm, let me help you out just a bit. Maybe someone whos' been in this situation before. Not even 3 years ago!” He slams the door and walks away rather quickly.

Should I be sorry for accusing him?

But then again, One of them had to tell..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's so short and choppy. Will post two longer chapters next week!


	7. Just Locker Room Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An incident takes place in the locker room, causing Liam to reevaluate his position on the footie team. The stress starts to become too much.

I left school yesterday with a heavy heart. I know I shouldn't have made such a mess yesterday with Louis. But my mind had been playing so many tricks on me. I couldn't think clearly. I kept crying and panicking. And I don't even know if people were really talking about. Maybe my paranoid mind was getting the better of me.

School today has been slow. I know that the school is slowly but surely finding about my sexuality because they're looking at me weird; shouting names and phrases at me that are commonly mentioned to gay men.

I mean, 'limp wrist' and 'guy lover' are hardly insults. I guess it could all be much worse, right? 

I walked into the theater quietly as I knew the drama kids were practicing their play. I close the door quietly behind me and stand in the far back. Even though, Louis and I weren't talking right now, but I still wanted to see how everything in his life was going. I had a free period so it just so happened to work. 

“Sherri, your nephew needs help. Haven't you seen the bruises his body is glittered with? That's not some fancy tattoo work the kids are picking up.” Annie, a sophomore speaks in character. I don't know her name in the play, but I've seen her around a few times.

“I know my nephew better than you'd think. He's just fine. Clumsy boy, though.” The aunt, another sophomore states, looking thoughtful.

“Aunty? I've come to collect the papers for mother.” And out comes, Louis. Beautiful Louis. He's playing the nephew who is being abused by his parents. His aunt comes to his rescue and gets him help. The play isn't a happy cheerful play as Louis would of probably preferred to be apart of. But he likes the importance of it and how the school is trying to raise awareness about family home life and what's normal and what isn't. 

“Oh, hello dear. Come give me some sugar.” The sweet aunt says. Louis, or in this case, Tony walks over and smiles sweetly at his aunt. He hugs and kisses his aunt.

“Baby, how you're doing today?” He smiles and shrugs.

“Just great, Aunty. I've had a long day. It would probably be nice if I didn't have to go all the way home, but that's okay.” The aunt frowns and takes the boy's hand.

“You'd tell me if anything is going on at home, wouldn't you? I'm just. I'm just a worried aunty. Want to make sure I'm doing my job correctly and you're actually being sought after.” Tony's eyes water and he looks over at the lady who was previously speaking to his aunt. He appears anxious, nervous because of the women.

“Alright! I'll see you two around. Have a good evening!” She quickly exits, having notice the awkward tension the room filled with.

“Aunty, I don't want to go back, ever again.” He cries into her shoulder.

“Oh, hun. You've gotta tell me what's gone down so I can help you out.” I smile at Louis's superb acting. I decided that now was a great time to leave the theater, not really wanting Louis to find me watching him.

I walk out quietly and walk down the empty hall. I should probably be more productive during my free period, but all I could think about was Louis and how weird everyone has been acting. I mean, surely, someone had to happen to say something. No one knew. I frown at myself and walked down the corridor and out the French doors. I walked out to the back of the school, where I took a sit and exhaled sharply. What am I gonna do? Was I wrong for having come out so randomly or was this just a necessary evil? I was always planning on coming out during university. Never have I thought I'd be apart of the small amount of gay kids here. I put my face in my hands and groan loudly.

What now?

“Liam? Oh, it is him..” I jump when I hear a sudden voice. I didn't hear any previous footsteps. I look up and frown when I see a few of the football guys and basketball guys walking towards me. I sit up straight, instantly. I collect my bag and my discarded jacket.

“Alright?” I ask as I stand up and walk towards them. Marcus, a basketball player smirks.

“Oh, we're great. But are you? We've been hearing some things around school. And I don't know if it's true or not, but if it is... Hmph.” I furrow my eyebrows.

“What have you been hearing? Because, I'm truly at a loss.” Anthony scoffs.

“You know whats being said. That you've been banging guys now. Or well, you've always like them. And its hard not to believe them when all you do is hang around that flamboyant bitch. “ I frown at his words and rub my neck awkwardly.

“It's not true. Even if it was...would it be the end of the world?” They all look at each other and start laughing loudly. I frown more. I've never felt more out with the group of jocks as I do right this moment.

“Yeah, it would be bad. It would be fucking awful. You know no one wants to change around a queer? Right? And no one wants to be friends with a nasty cock sucker. No one wants to look at them. They're filth. Completely vile. Disgusting. Do you understand that? I mean, would your parents want to look at you if you were gay? Wouldn't they be disgusted with the sight of you?” My frown deepens, anger and sadness running through my body.

“I. Don't. Know. Nor do I care to find out. So if you excuse me. I've got to get to class. See you boys later.” I say, trying to be as nonchalant as possible. I quickly walk away from the group and nearly run to the front of the school. How did things get messed up so fast?

..  
Football came a lot quicker than I wanted. I love the sport, I do. But it's less fun when you have people who aren't the best around you. I walk into the locker room, dropping my gym bag on the bench. I smile slightly at Niall who simply nods his hand and looks back at Joshua. I frown, thinking about what he said yesterday. How he didn't tell Joshua. But here they are. I sigh and pull my shirt over my head. I run a hand through my messy hair and looked through my bag. I get out my Axe deodorant spray and spray some under both arms. I tense, when I notice a few people staring at me. I look their direction and frown.

“What?!” I ask, starting to get pissed by the silly games. One guy raises his hand in surrender. The other scoffs and stands up on the bench. He claps his hands loudly, getting the attention of others in the room.

“Okay! I think we need a meeting. It's only fair! Okay, so there's rumours going on about our team. And when one rumour happens to one member of the soccer team, it affects us all and makes us all look bad until it resolves. Now, we know there's a few rumours going on about Liam, so I think he needs to remember the code and own up and speak what's true and whats not.” I frown, feeling super uncomfortable. No way in hell would I come out to a room full of homophobic high schools.

“Excuse me, but I don't have to say shit, thank you very much.” Anthony walks over to me and glares at me.

“Are you apart of this team?” He asks me as if I'm a little child not understanding what's happening. I nod once, a frown still etched up my face.

“Then, you would. No, you should want good for us all, so own up, Liam. Or, well, we will tell you want you think.” I shake my head.

“Rumours are shite. No one cared about the rumour of Harrison sleeping with two girls at that party. So why am I suppose to give a fuck about this one?” Anthony tsks and looks over at Joshua.

“Okay, so this is what we think, you're actually are into guys. You hit on a guy and..” Joshua starts, soon being cut off by Anthony.

“He rejected you and you got pissy so he spread the rumours about you. Or you tried to sleep with a girl and couldn't get it up, so of course, she thought he must be gay.” I get up and throw my shirt in my bag.

“I dont have to sit around and listen to this bull shit!” I yell, putting my bag over my shoulder. 

“Sit down, Liam! We're only talking because you wont. You wont tell us what happened! So we made up our own theories.” 

“What if I was gay??! What would you do? Kick me off the team? Bully me off? You're all a bunch of insecure idiots. I wouldn't even dare to fuck any of you disgusting homophobes!” Niall groans and shakes his head at me. Maybe silently trying to tell me to shut up.

Before I can even react Darryll is flying towards me and punching me in my jaw. I groan and push him off me. I kick him in his testicles and grab him by his hair, holding him dangerously close to my own dick.

“Don't be such a pussy and hit at me when I'm not looking. Is this a comfortable spot for you? Do you like being this close to my dick?! Cause I have no problem! I will make your face uglier than it already is!”

Darryll groans as my grip tightens on his blonde locks. 

“Liam, would you stop...you sound...crazy.” I hear Niall whine in the back. I laugh loudly, anger still surging through me. I let go of Darryll, pushing him away from me.

“Now, if any of you crazy bitches want to fight me, then please tell me where and when so I can smash your face to pieces.” I pick up my bag again. The room had fallen silent and everyone stared at me like I was a psychopath. When really, I just didn't want to tolerate getting bullied and harassed about my sexual preferences. That, for the record, I don't ever have to share with anyone.

“So, you're definitely gay.” Is all I hear when I walk out the room, I shake my head sadly.

So this is what high school is gonna end like for me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter. Will post a long one Thursday.


	8. NonChapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> where the author gets writersblock

I've lost all motivation for this story. Part of me just want to say stuff this and post my new story with a more exciting storyline. The other part of me just wants to turn the sorry around and start over. I think i have too many ideas involved in the story. My mind is all over the place.

Needs will have a new chapter up tomorrow, if you'd like to check that story out.

 

Sorry for anyone who cared.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading. Please leave feedback and suggestions so i can improve and maybe add to the story. :)


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